In my house, I have this pretty little mirror. It’s round, with an ivory-coloured plastic frame, and it’s about 18 inches in diameter. I love to look at it [and in it], but I can’t really see very much. So each morning when I come to work, I pass by the bathroom to make sure there’s no veg in my teeth.
I’ve just come from the bathroom. I need a break, clearly. My eyebags are so deep I could store pennies in them and they wouldn’t fall out. Yes, I know we don’t use pennies, but somehow ‘ten-cent coins’ doesn’t have the same ring to it. ‘Silvers’ might work, but I don’t think we have those anymore.
I am sitting at my desk assembling my weetabix. I usually do this at home, but I was so exhausted last night that I totally overslept. 8 hours of sleep and I still feel finished. Things are thick!! Anyway, there’s a little book we have to sign when we get into the office. The book has a big red line to show who has shown up late, and you do not want to be on the wrong side of that line.
So when I realised I was late, I grabbed my cereal and some milk and dashed to work. I still ended up on the wrong side of the line, but so did everyone else. I think we are all burning out. So, just for today, there is no line.
Back to my power breakfast. My workmate walked in and saw the dry weetabix tablets in my bowl. She stared at it for maybe five seconds before she found her tongue and asked what I was eating. I told her. She stares blankly, then after another five seconds, asks me why I’m eating something that looks like a ceiling board. Now I am blank. Ceiling board? She doesn’t know weetabix? A ceiling board??
A few minutes later, another workmate walks in. This time I’m pouring my milk and stirring in the sugar. She’s staring at me all mesmerized, but I don’t really notice until I take up the first spoon and see her staring at me like she expects my head to explode. The spoon stayed suspended in mid air for a few seconds as I decided whether I should offer her a taste or not, but she giggled and walked away. Strange people I work with.
A few minutes later, I was finishing off the leftover milk. It was in one of those little juice boxes with a straw. The workmate was still staring at me and giggling. Really now. I’d be concerned if I didn’t have other things on my mind. Like anticipating the hellish stomach pain I shall have later. I’m lactose intolerant, but tell that to my taste buds. Plus, weetabix is such good comfort food.
Ceiling board. Hm.