I want to be a videogame vixen

Mr 3CB likes videogames, so I know a lot more about tea-bagging and respawn spots than I should. The seeds were laid long ago, and as a kid, I played family games and Super Mario. I mostly liked Sega and 42-in-1. It was a cartridge that had Ramio, Joust, Gyro, Galaxion, and Mappy. My favourite one was Mappy, coz it sounded so cool when you died. I also loved Tetris, though I could never get past Level III, so I gave it up for Brick Game.

I did  bit of Donkey Kong and Zelda, but by then, the kids had become serious gamers, so I was content to sit and watch the screen while they played. I was more interested in the story, so I’d cheer them to finish a level so I could see the videos. They dared me to play Final Fantasy once, but they took away the joysticks, because instead of using strategic moves to score points, I picked spells that caused pretty colours and fireworks, used up energy bars, but did zero damage. I didn’t think to try Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter, or Tekken, though I’m pretty sure the most amazing move was down-up-kick..

Knowing my love for good stories, Mr 3CB got me a video of the Metal Gear Solid storyline. There are four separate games, totalling to over ten hours of viewing. I haven’t had such fun in ages. I don’t know if I’d actually play the games – I’m pretty squeamish over guns. But those video girls are hot. Tell me you wouldn’t channel Laughing Octopus.

My favourite is MGS 3. The plotline is deep and powerful, and the sheroes are pretty strong characters. You have Eva, the super sexy triple agent who can be strong and frail at will. She pretends to be a secretary nerd so she can spy on the KGB, while posing as a defecting American who really works for China. Then there’s The Boss, the most badass woman in … in anywhere really. She gives up everything for her country – her love, her child, her skills, and eventually, her life. She’s a mighty soldier, nicknamed the Mother of US Special Forces, and she’s in charge of the Cobra Squad – not to be mistaken with Alfie’s gang.

The CIA fakes a plot that has her defecting to Russia, then gets her own apprentice to kill her as part of a deal with Russia. She dies a traitor, simply following orders, and her name is ruined in history, just as the CIA planned. The story made me cry. It was as beautiful as it was sad, and I’m surprised it took a videogame to help me get the Cold War. Who’d’a thunk?

I’m sure there was a point to this post, but I forgot what it was. Oh well. It will come to me. I’m still trying to figure out the twists in the tale, like why Naomi looked so nervous and mousy all the time, how a geek chick could be so hot, what her true motives were, and where Ocelot learned to gesture like a rugby referee. In the meantime, the hot, the wild, the crazy, Ms Raging Raven. Pure awesomness – and this one is a bad guy! I so want to be in a videogame!

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