… I’m blogging at 4.30 in the morning. For some people, that may be sad, but for me, in some ways, it’s a good thing. Good because writing is my work, but its also my life. In the last few months, I’ve been so caught up in the ‘work’ part that I’ve forgotten about the ‘life’ part, so it feels good to be writing again. Bad because the only reason I’m awake and writing at 4.00 a.m. is that my baby is really, really sick.
I spent most of last week in bed with what I thought was a bad cold. Last night, my little one came home all excited from a sleepover. This morning, she was whining about unusual aches and pains, and by 4.00 p.m. she had the same symptoms I’ve had all week, so we headed to hospital and got some blood tests. For me, not for her. I figured – and the doc agreed – that she’d caught whatever I had, so my week-old blood would give better results. For her, they just checked urine.
The doctor declared it a bacterial infection of some kind and issued us a cocktail of pills. Our neighbourhood hospital is right next door to Kenchic and Bonjour, so we have this unwritten tradition of getting fries, chicken, and chocolate every time we see the doc. But after spending 5K at the hospital, I could barely get a quarter and a single pack of fries. I whined about it for a bit, then remembered what my appetite was like all week. Fries and a teensy-weensy-drumstick was my best chance at getting her to eat.
Being at the hospital was scary, but I got a lot of support from my friends on Twitter, and I’m grateful for that. You have to love friends who can make you laugh over something as freaky as STDs, especially when they’re people that you havent even met! Thank you China, Louis, Shiroh, Shiko, Farmer, Greenie, Waithash, Maso, and a very special shout out to Boyani.
As soon as we got to the hospital, my baby was instantly better. She was jumping all over the place, asking her uncle endless questions, and laughing at me for threatening to faint when the lab guy drew my blood. Once we got back home, she was fine for a while, but then the fever kicked back in. Her skin was blazing and she was in so much pain that she screamed if I tried a stroke or cuddle. She could barely walk for her bathroom breaks, so we haven’t gotten much sleep.
I was hesitant to mix meds, but in the end, I gave her some of the banana flavoured syrup that saved my *** all week, which has cooled her body a little and has lulled her back to bed. Thank heavens for Lotem. I’m too riled up to sleep though, and most of Twitter is out partying, which leaves me to seek some solo therapy.
Two nights ago, I had a really disturbing dream. I dreamt I’d somehow lost my baby in a time warp. The dream world was creepy and was constantly morphing from Amazon to Waterworld to Desert, and there was this woman who looked a lot like Yoga from Ugly Betty. She was an oracle of some sort, and kept giving me cryptic hints that led a few steps forward. It annoyed me that she wouldn’t just show me where my baby was!
After some wandering and a potential meet with snakes *shudder* I finally found my baby in the dream! She was in a quiet little shags-like village playing with friends, and I rested and hung out with her a while. I decided to leave her there until I figured out where we were, because this strange dream world was scary and uncertain. In the entire time I had searched for her, I’d had no food, water, or help except for the cryptic oracle lady.
I was just explaining to the princess why she had to stay behind when the oracle lady appeared. We both realised in that instant that the oracle lady was … me! Well, a future version of me. She had left our baby here in this village years ago, and when she came back to find her, she was gone! So she had done a time jump to warn me not to make the same mistake. And the reason she could only give me hints was because she didn’t know the way out herself! She could only tell me what she knew!
I suppose she also couldnt tell me who she was because if I’d realized I’d be wandering for over 20 years, I’d have given up and simply hugged a snake! I’ve heard people say dreams are a reflection of our subconscious, and that they spell out our desires, hopes, and fears a lot more clearly than we can while we’re awake. So my dreams really worry me sometimes.
One of the most painful experiences in the world is listening to your baby cry and not having the power to stop it. My baby cried for most of the night, but after a little Lotem, she’s managed to get some sleep, and I should too. I’m glad my illness has mostly passed, because now I’m fully focussed on my baby, but I’m glad I’m not 100%, because now we can relax and nap together before life goes on next Tuesday. Here’s to 2012, smiles, happiness, bananas, and my new lucky colour.
♫ Yellow ♫ Coldplay ♫