As opposed to …

Pigs in space muppets

Every once in a while, my body chemistry goes completely out of whack. I know it’s not PMS, because that was three days ago. It might be a case of metabolic confusion, because I’m taking mild coffee to counteract the effect of pain meds. I’m recovering from surgery, which means I’m on a lot of pills that make me very, very sleepy. Also, I’m a tea person.

I do feel rather schitzophrenic, and it would be fun to whack some snow with a flamethrower right about now. I feel angsty, because it’s the beginning of the year and I have absolutely nothing to worry about or look forward to. The horror! I remember an episode of Dharma and Greg where he was complaining that he didn’t know how to relax. Maybe that’s my problem. Maybe I just can’t handle the calm feeling of no-stress. Apparently, I’m such a control freak that I’m worried about not being worried!

Anyway, Lang’ata has had an unusual amount of traffic this week. So this morning, our matatu decided to take the scenic route – through Kibera. We started out on the Southern Bypass and ended up near China Mall.

As we navigated the murram, I think I was supposed to be humbled by the bustling life all around me. You know, barbie, slum tourism, that kind of thing. Instead I kept thinking, ‘Why are those pigs walking around like free range chicken? Maybe I shouldn’t get meat from that pork butchery anymore. Is it drinking while it’s pissing? From the same mud hole?!? How can anything that filthy be the source of bacon? *shudder*

Well, according to science, pigs are actually the cleanest animals in the world. Not that you’d know it by watching them eat while they piss. And how they can eat trash and spew bacon is still beyond me. Safe to say I am sufficiently traumatised – at least for the next five minutes. I mean come on … it’s bacon!

Also, the matatu cartels on route number 8 are scary. The way they reacted to us encroaching on their road, even our makanga was intimidated! In other news, there are some really posh apartments near Kibera, complete with gated sections and GCE school buses. Who’d ‘a thunk?

Do nothing tweet

Okay. I have tons of work to do, so this mood needs to be on its merry way. Unless it can somehow lead me to a flamethrower and a gigantic pile of snow. Onwards onwards.

♫ Life Must Go On ♫ Alter Bridge ♫

114 thoughts on “Pigs in Kibera

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