As I was typing, my princess looked up at me, smiled, and said, ‘You’re in a good mood today!’ So I explained what I was doing with the website. Five minutes later, she tripped and ripped her school skirt. My immediate thought was that we’d have to buy a new skirt, and as she noticed my frown, she started to apologise.
I instantly checked myself and adjusted my face. She shouldn’t be sorry for falling just because it made me worry about money. I was just glad she wasn’t hurt. But she continued to apologise, suggested she could stitch the skirt herself, and it was quite a while before I could distract her inherited worries with pizza.
That’s when I realised how much my pessimism affects my daughter. She’s way too young to be that conscious of cash problems. A part of me says it’s good she understands the value of money. She has a bank account and knows how to save when she wants to buy something extra special. She has her own business making jewellery, and bakes cakes and cookies to sell to friends and neighbours. She’s very enterprising and is always coming up with inventive new ways to get rich, so I’m guaranteed her bills will always be paid.
But I worry that I may have created a monster. Is it normal for an 11-year-old to have such a keen awareness of cash, and of the need to make lots of it? Has my desire to raise a financially independent child made her too profit conscious instead? Is there any such thing as being too cash-oriented?
I know she’s not a miser or a scrooge, because she spends her money on candy, trinkets, and gifts for freidns and family, just like any other kid. I know she has a generous spirit and shares just as much as she keeps. And I know her intrinsic business sense never gets in the way of her school work. So I guess it’s a good thing.
The incident brought something else to mind. The point of the Happiness Project is to make you more aware of the joys in life, to help you be more conscious when you’re glad. But I noticed how quickly a happy moment fades. For this 100 Happy Days thing to work for me, it should be 100 Happy Moments Daily. I would need to snap or write down every single trigger to a smile, because it’s way too easy for my mood to turn.
I wonder if a project like this can help me battle my depression, if I can pointedly focus on every single thing that makes me warm and fuzzy in a day and note it down, then maybe I’ll remember to be happy more than sad. Oh well, it beats popping endless happy pills.
♫ Vow ♫ Kutless ♫