Step 1: Shockingly discover you’re about to get dumped.
Step 2: Pre-emptively change your profile photos.
Step 3: Call your
(soon-to-be-ex) love and confirm your hunch.
Step 4: Get ridiculously drunk.
Step 5: Tell everyone involved. You know, family, friends, wedding guests …
Step 6: Exist in a lost zombie break-up haze. This part takes a while.
Step 7: Delete every song that reminds you of him. i.e. restore factory settings.
Step 8: Dinner and a movie. Preferably one with pretty boys, fireworks, or ice cream.