Step 1: Shockingly discover you’re about to get dumped.

Step 2: Pre-emptively change your profile photos.

Step 3: Call your (soon-to-be-ex) love and confirm your hunch.

Step 4: Get ridiculously drunk.

Step 5: Tell everyone involved. You know, family, friends, wedding guests

Step 6: Exist in a lost zombie break-up haze. This part takes a while.

Step 7: Delete every song that reminds you of him. i.e. restore factory settings.

Step 8: Dinner and a movie. Preferably one with pretty boys, fireworks, or ice cream.

Bill Pullman, Jeff Goldblum, and one of the Hemsworths. This will do nicely.

15 thoughts on “How to break up

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