Here we go again.
Okay, I’ve established that we need time with our boys/girls even after we hook up, and that the agreeable ratio is 2:5, where two days go to your girls/boys and 5 days go to your significant other, with some time inbetween for family commitments that you can drag your pals or partner to.
But now I have another question. How do you balance your platonics with your lover? And by lover I mean your missing/extra rib, not your bedmate.
Here’s the thing. Before you started dating/courting/whatever, you had this pal or pals of the opposite sex whom you could tell anything. He’s the guy you dragged shopping with you coz you needed a guy opinion about how that outfit really looks on you, and whether it will really knock your jamaa’s socks off. She’s the girl you tried out your cooking on before risking poison on your significant other, the one who helped you buy a girly gift for the new woman in your life.
This is the person you talked to about crushes, loves, heartbreaks, the works. They have a mental flowchart of proceedings between you and your lover from day one to the current. They have enough blackmail material to blow you out of the water, and you know they’ll never use it. You have done everything but sleep with them [and possibly you’ve done that too, but you are not ‘in’ them right now]
So now it’s official with you and your girl/boyfriend, what happens to this platonic confidante? Do they suddenly fade out of your life? Do you stop sharing intimate secrets with them? Do they back off now that there’s a new Number 1 in your life?
Or tuseme they have acquired a girl/boyfriend of their own. What happens now? I know there are some obvious do’s and don’ts. Like you can no longer call them at 2 am to console you, coz they’re in bed with someone else, and possibly preoccupied, pleasantly or otherwise. You can no longer invade their digs unannounced. You probably have to give back the spare key. And you can no longer drag them shopping for intimates, coz their S/O won’t like it very much.
But what exactly can you do? How do you handle this? Do you tell your S/O that you’re going for lunch with Jack/Jill, your tight pal, do you sneak around to avoid upsetting your lover, or do you stop the lunches altogether?
As the significant other, how do you respond to Jack/Jill? Do you make friends with them to avoid hostility and custody wars? Do you tag along on all their meetings with your S/O? Do you silently seethe with jealousy? Do you ban them from your radius?
You, as the platonic, how do you deal with the S/O? Do you give up all territorial rights to your pal? Do you back off unless or until your pal calls you? What do you do when you desperately need your girl/boy – do you call and let them decide where the line is by turning you down?
Let’s say it’s 3 am, I just had a big fight with my boyfriend, and I really need my boypal to hold me together. Or it’s Vals, and i need to test out my new little black dress. Do I call guy-pal? Or do I respect his girl’s feelings and sort myself?
There’s about a million nightmare scenarios.
1. The girlfriend is uncomfortable with our friendship and tells him to choose. I respectfully stop seeing or calling him. Six months later, it’s my birthday, and it won’t be the same without him, so I call the GFH [girfriend-from-hell] and ask to borrow my boy-pal for a night. She refuses. Do I ignore her and call my boy-pal up, coz I know he won’t say no to me, even though it will cause a major break-up level fight between them?
2. I need a date for a work thing, and he knows me so well, he’d be the perfect one. Do I ask his girl to let me borrow him, or go over her head and ask him myself, risking a major break-up level fight between them?
3. The S/O says I can’t spend any time with my boy-pal unless she chaperones. Do I play along and have her eavesdrop on tales of my latest backfired date, or do I see him behind her back – if he’ll let me – knowing it will cause a major fight of…
4. I am moving and I need him to help me shop for electronics and move my furniture. If I ask her, she’ll say no way. Do I ask him behind her back and…blah blah blah?
Mind you I have nothing against this girl, she’s a darling, and cute too. It’s just that she’s dating my boy, we’re both the jealous type, and I was here first so…
Common sense says don’t discuss your S/O troubles with your best platonic, coz you’ll probably end up in bed together. I mean you know each other really well, so when you start telling this human being (who knows you so well) about another human being (who doesn’t know you as well as they should), you’ll start comparing and things can get tricky.
Common sense also says to keep your S/O out of temptation’s way, which means don’t let them be alone with someone who knows them better than you do. But I imagine trust is something you can’t really fight – if someone wants to cheat, they will, no matter how tight or loose their leash is. People don’t cheat because they can, they cheat because they want to. So there goes your excuse for tagging along on your S/O’s dates with his/her pal for ‘security reasons’.
My longest Ex once told me that he wished I’d dated more before him, coz then I’d know how to do these things. He also told me to go out more and meet more people, coz I’m like the hermit of hermits. I haven’t really mingled much before the internet, and am only now starting to have friends and friends, so now that my friend, my go-to guy, is getting hitched, I’m wondering where the line is.
I mean this is the guy who guides me on everything from hotspots of the male anatomy to demystifying the sock drawer. The one who hugs me when I’m embarassed, and explains the rules of cricket so that I can impress my date. The one who cooks for me when I’m sick and drops everything to help me out. And no, he is not secretly in love with me [i asked, several times], though I am on-and-off-not-so-secretly in lo…I mean lust with him.
All ye of experience at handling these messes, help !
Hello there. I found your web site by means of Google at the same time as searching for a related matter, your website came up. It seems great. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to visit then.
Hiya, I’m really glad I’ve found this info. Nowadays bloggers publish just about gossip and web stuff and this is actually irritating. A good web site with interesting content, this is what I need. Thanks for making this web-site, and I will be visiting again. Do you do newsletters by email?
Hi there, just became alert to your blog through Google, and found that it’s really informative. I’m gonna watch out for brussels. I will be grateful if you continue this in future. Many people will be benefited from your writing. Cheers!
Good ¡V I should certainly pronounce, impressed with your site. I had no trouble navigating through all the tabs as well as related info ended up being truly simple to do to access. I recently found what I hoped for before you know it in the least. Reasonably unusual. Is likely to appreciate it for those who add forums or anything, site theme . a tones way for your customer to communicate. Nice task..
Hey there. I found your web site by way of Google even as searching for a comparable subject, your site came up. It seems good. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to come back then.
Woah! I’m really loving the template/theme of this blog. It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s very hard to get that “perfect balance” between superb usability and appearance. I must say that you’ve done a excellent job with this. In addition, the blog loads extremely fast for me on Internet explorer. Exceptional Blog!
Hello there. I found your web site via Google even as searching for a comparable matter, your web site got here up. It seems good. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to come back then.
One other issue is when you are in a circumstances where you do not possess a cosigner then you may really need to try to wear out all of your federal funding options. You can get many awards and other scholarship grants that will offer you finances to help you with education expenses. Thanks a lot for the post.
Hello there. I found your website by the use of Google even as searching for a comparable subject, your site came up. It appears to be great. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to visit then.
Hey there. I found your site by the use of Google while searching for a comparable subject, your web site came up. It appears to be good. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to come back then.
Merely wanna input that you have a very nice web site , I love the style it actually stands out.
Awesome write-up. I’m a regular visitor of your web site and appreciate you taking the time to maintain the nice site. I will be a regular visitor for a really long time.
Generally I don’t learn article on blogs, but I would like to say that this write-up very compelled me to take a look at and do so! Your writing taste has been surprised me. Thank you, quite great article.
Awesome post. I am a regular visitor of your website and appreciate you taking the time to maintain the excellent site. I will be a regular visitor for a really long time.
It is in reality a great and helpful piece of info. I’m happy that you just shared this useful information with us. Please stay us up to date like this. Thank you for sharing.
Awesome post. I am a regular visitor of your website and appreciate you taking the time to maintain the nice site. I’ll be a regular visitor for a long time.
Hiya, I am really glad I’ve found this information. Nowadays bloggers publish only about gossip and internet stuff and this is actually frustrating. A good website with exciting content, this is what I need. Thanks for making this site, and I will be visiting again. Do you do newsletters by email?
Hi there. I discovered your site by way of Google whilst looking for a similar topic, your site got here up. It appears great. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to visit then.
Hiya, I’m really glad I have found this info. Nowadays bloggers publish only about gossip and net stuff and this is really frustrating. A good website with interesting content, that’s what I need. Thank you for making this web-site, and I will be visiting again. Do you do newsletters by email?
Hiya, I am really glad I’ve found this information. Nowadays bloggers publish only about gossip and net stuff and this is actually frustrating. A good blog with interesting content, that is what I need. Thank you for making this website, and I’ll be visiting again. Do you do newsletters by email?
Hi there. I found your site by the use of Google whilst looking for a similar subject, your web site came up. It appears to be good. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to come back then.
You can certainly see your expertise in the work you write. The world hopes for even more passionate writers like you who are not afraid to say how they believe. Always go after your heart.
Hiya, I am really glad I have found this info. Today bloggers publish only about gossip and internet stuff and this is really irritating. A good website with interesting content, this is what I need. Thank you for making this site, and I will be visiting again. Do you do newsletters by email?
Awesome write-up. I am a normal visitor of your web site and appreciate you taking the time to maintain the excellent site. I will be a regular visitor for a long time.
Hiya, I am really glad I have found this information. Nowadays bloggers publish only about gossip and net stuff and this is really annoying. A good web site with exciting content, that is what I need. Thanks for making this web-site, and I will be visiting again. Do you do newsletters by email?
Awesome write-up. I’m a normal visitor of your website and appreciate you taking the time to maintain the excellent site. I’ll be a regular visitor for a long time.
I truly appreciate this post. I have been looking everywhere for this! Thank goodness I found it on Bing. You’ve made my day! Thx again!
Hiya, I’m really glad I have found this info. Nowadays bloggers publish just about gossip and internet stuff and this is really frustrating. A good web site with interesting content, this is what I need. Thank you for making this website, and I’ll be visiting again. Do you do newsletters by email?
Hiya, I am really glad I have found this information. Today bloggers publish just about gossip and web stuff and this is really irritating. A good website with exciting content, that is what I need. Thank you for making this website, and I will be visiting again. Do you do newsletters by email?
Awesome write-up. I’m a normal visitor of your web site and appreciate you taking the time to maintain the nice site. I will be a frequent visitor for a long time.
Hi there, I discovered your blog by means of Google while searching for a related subject, your website got here up, it seems to be good. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.
Awesome post. I’m a regular visitor of your blog and appreciate you taking the time to maintain the excellent site. I will be a regular visitor for a long time.
I wanted to put you one tiny note in order to thank you very much again considering the striking views you have shared in this article. It is certainly wonderfully generous with people like you in giving publicly just what some people might have advertised as an e book to help with making some cash on their own, precisely seeing that you might have tried it in case you decided. These advice as well acted like a great way to know that most people have the same dreams the same as my personal own to figure out way more around this issue. I’m certain there are some more enjoyable occasions in the future for people who looked over your blog.
Hello there. I found your web site by way of Google while searching for a related topic, your web site got here up. It appears great. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to visit then.
Hi there. I found your site via Google even as looking for a related topic, your website came up. It appears great. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to come back then.
Hiya, I’m really glad I’ve found this info. Today bloggers publish only about gossip and net stuff and this is really irritating. A good web site with exciting content, this is what I need. Thank you for making this site, and I’ll be visiting again. Do you do newsletters by email?
Hi there. I found your site by the use of Google while searching for a similar subject, your website got here up. It seems to be great. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to come back then.
I am continually looking online for articles that can benefit me. Thanks!
Digital Marketing Wien
Hiya, I’m really glad I have found this information. Today bloggers publish just about gossip and internet stuff and this is really annoying. A good site with interesting content, that is what I need. Thank you for making this web-site, and I will be visiting again. Do you do newsletters by email?
I have been surfing on-line greater than three hours today, but I by no means found any interesting article like yours. It is beautiful worth sufficient for me. In my opinion, if all site owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the web will be a lot more useful than ever before.
Awesome post. I am a regular visitor of your site and appreciate you taking the time to maintain the excellent site. I will be a regular visitor for a really long time.
Hi there. I found your web site by the use of Google even as looking for a related subject, your website came up. It looks good. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to visit then.
Hello there. I found your blog via Google at the same time as looking for a related topic, your web site got here up. It seems great. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to visit then.
Hey there. I found your site by the use of Google whilst looking for a similar subject, your site got here up. It looks great. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to visit then.
Hello there. I discovered your site by means of Google even as looking for a similar topic, your site got here up. It appears great. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to come back then.
Hiya, I am really glad I have found this information. Nowadays bloggers publish just about gossip and web stuff and this is actually frustrating. A good website with interesting content, that is what I need. Thanks for making this site, and I will be visiting again. Do you do newsletters by email?
Hiya, I’m really glad I’ve found this information. Nowadays bloggers publish just about gossip and internet stuff and this is really irritating. A good web site with exciting content, that is what I need. Thank you for making this website, and I will be visiting again. Do you do newsletters by email?
Hiya, I’m really glad I have found this information. Today bloggers publish only about gossip and net stuff and this is really frustrating. A good blog with exciting content, that is what I need. Thanks for making this web-site, and I will be visiting again. Do you do newsletters by email?
Hey there. I found your web site by way of Google even as searching for a similar matter, your website came up. It appears good. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to visit then.