Introvert problems

Wikipedia defines small talk as conversation for the sake of conversation and calls it a key social skill. Another definition says small talk is ‘polite conversation about unimportant or uncontroversial matters, especially as engaged in on social occasions.’ I don’t particularly enjoy small talk, possibly because I’m not very good at it. My go-to topic is the weather, which I suppose is pretty lame.

I like to talk about things that matter to people, things they have real feelings about. Of course such topics tend to be controversial and dig beneath people’s social masks, which I suppose is why people like small talk so much. It lets you maintain the face you choose to show the world.

And I suppose it’s only polite to respect that, to let people show you what they want you to see. A friend told me that once. He said, ‘If people want you to see them a certain way, pretend not to notice when a different side of them slips out. That’s how you keep friends.’ It’s also how you get ahead.

I was reading a cracked article about harsh truths that can make you a better person. It talks about being the kind of person people like, being useful and meeting their needs. Popular people are like that. They’re good at knowing what different people need and providing it. Such people are intelligent, versatile, and just a little scary – at least to me. Maybe because they’re brilliant mind readers.


I’ve always been suspicious (and resentful) of people that can please everybody. It seemed to me that they were hiding their true personality beneath a million different masks. But lately I think maybe that is their personality, that maybe they’re simply the kind of person that can be in sync with everyone. It’s a pretty handy talent, and the ones that are good at it make it look effortless.

I’m not very good at that kind of thing. I’m even worse at small talk. For me, conversation for its own sake is empty fluff. I like talks that tell me more about a person, event or thing. Conversation – for me – communicates. It doesn’t fill up social space. But then again, I’m not a very social person.

I enjoy being around people I can talk to about life, love, politics, religion, sex, and not just passing words, but exchanging them in meaningful ways. I like a conversation to feel like I’m actually connecting with a person rather than idly flipping cable channels.

I suppose it’s because I spend so much time inside my head that when I get out of it, I’m eager to dive into someone else’s. Small talk is designed specifically to prevent that, to keep things comfy and superficial, to surf the safe outer levels of social interactions, which is where most people prefer to hang out.


I guess that’s why I appreciate the people in my life that let me into their deep internal spaces, the ones that feel safe enough in my presence to let me read their minds and hearts.  But it’s even more amazing when you meet a new person that can talk – really talk – without it seeming like a big deal. You might mistake them for a soul mate, even when they’re really not. That kind of person can be fun. Dangerous, but also lots of fun.

Here’s to us ♫ Tori Vega 

99 thoughts on “For all those allergic to small talk…

  1. I just want to say I’m newbie to blogging and site-building and certainly savored you’re web-site. Most likely I’m want to bookmark your blog post . You definitely come with tremendous stories. Kudos for sharing with us your blog site.

  2. It is perfect time to make some plans for the future and it’s time to be happy. I’ve read this post and if I could I desire to suggest you some interesting things or tips. Maybe you can write next articles referring to this article. I desire to read more things about it!

  3. I believe that avoiding highly processed foods is the first step in order to lose weight. They might taste excellent, but prepared foods possess very little nutritional value, making you consume more simply to have enough vitality to get throughout the day. If you are constantly eating these foods, transitioning to cereals and other complex carbohydrates will make you to have more vigor while consuming less. Thanks alot : ) for your blog post.

  4. I was just seeking this info for some time. After six hours of continuous Googleing, finally I got it in your website. I wonder what’s the lack of Google strategy that don’t rank this kind of informative websites in top of the list. Usually the top websites are full of garbage.

  5. Fantastic items from you, man. I’ve bear in mind your stuff prior to and you’re just extremely magnificent. I actually like what you have received here, really like what you’re saying and the best way wherein you assert it. You make it enjoyable and you still care for to keep it sensible. I cant wait to learn much more from you. This is really a great web site.

  6. Hello there, You’ve done an incredible job. I will definitely digg it and in my opinion suggest to my friends. I am confident they’ll be benefited from this site.

  7. Hello, i think that i noticed you visited my website so i got here to “go back the favor”.I am attempting to in finding issues to enhance my web site!I assume its ok to make use of some of your ideas!!

  8. Thanks so much for providing individuals with an extraordinarily nice opportunity to discover important secrets from this blog. It really is very pleasant and as well , stuffed with fun for me personally and my office fellow workers to search your web site on the least three times in 7 days to study the latest stuff you have got. And lastly, we are actually fascinated considering the excellent secrets you serve. Certain 3 tips on this page are really the most impressive I have ever had.

  9. That is really attention-grabbing, You are a very skilled blogger. I’ve joined your feed and sit up for searching for more of your wonderful post. Also, I have shared your web site in my social networks!

  10. Heya i am for the first time here. I came across this board and I find It really useful & it helped me out much. I hope to give something back and aid others like you helped me.

  11. I don’t even know the way I stopped up here, however I assumed this put up used to be great. I don’t realize who you might be however certainly you’re going to a famous blogger in the event you aren’t already 😉 Cheers!

  12. whoah this weblog is excellent i really like reading your posts. Stay up the good paintings! You understand, many persons are searching around for this information, you can help them greatly.

  13. I’m not sure exactly why but this website is loading extremely slow for me. Is anyone else having this issue or is it a issue on my end? I’ll check back later and see if the problem still exists.

  14. My spouse and I absolutely love your blog and find nearly all of your post’s to be precisely what I’m looking for. can you offer guest writers to write content to suit your needs? I wouldn’t mind writing a post or elaborating on most of the subjects you write with regards to here. Again, awesome weblog!

  15. Hiya, I am really glad I have found this info. Today bloggers publish only about gossips and internet and this is really irritating. A good blog with exciting content, this is what I need. Thanks for keeping this web site, I’ll be visiting it. Do you do newsletters? Cant find it.

  16. Aw, this was a very nice post. In idea I would like to put in writing like this additionally – taking time and precise effort to make an excellent article… however what can I say… I procrastinate alot and under no circumstances appear to get one thing done.

  17. This website is known as a walk-by for the entire data you wanted about this and didn’t know who to ask. Glimpse here, and you’ll positively uncover it.

  18. Hello, i read your blog occasionally and i own a similar one and i was just curious if you get a lot of spam comments? If so how do you prevent it, any plugin or anything you can advise? I get so much lately it’s driving me insane so any help is very much appreciated.

  19. Heya i am for the first time here. I found this board and I find It truly useful & it helped me out a lot. I hope to give something back and aid others like you aided me.

  20. Thanks for your fascinating article. Other thing is that mesothelioma cancer is generally due to the inhalation of fibres from asbestos fiber, which is a dangerous material. It’s commonly observed among staff in the engineering industry who definitely have long exposure to asbestos. It can also be caused by moving into asbestos protected buildings for an extended time of time, Inherited genes plays a huge role, and some individuals are more vulnerable towards the risk as compared with others.

  21. Thanks for the good writeup. It in reality was a leisure account it. Look complicated to far brought agreeable from you! However, how can we communicate?

  22. Howdy! This is my first visit to your blog! We are a group of volunteers and starting a new project in a community in the same niche. Your blog provided us useful information to work on. You have done a marvellous job!

  23. you are really a just right webmaster. The web site loading velocity is amazing. It kind of feels that you are doing any distinctive trick. Furthermore, The contents are masterpiece. you’ve performed a magnificent task in this topic!

  24. Wow! This could be one particular of the most helpful blogs We have ever arrive across on this subject. Basically Excellent. I’m also an expert in this topic therefore I can understand your effort.

  25. you’re really a just right webmaster. The site loading speed is incredible. It kind of feels that you are doing any unique trick. Also, The contents are masterpiece. you’ve done a magnificent job on this matter!

  26. fantastic post, very informative. I wonder why the other specialists of this sector do not notice this. You must continue your writing. I am sure, you have a great readers’ base already!

  27. Hello there, I discovered your site by means of Google at the same time as looking for a similar matter, your website got here up, it appears to be like great. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.

  28. Only a smiling visitant here to share the love (:, btw outstanding layout. “Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not one bit simpler.” by Albert Einstein.

  29. I’ve been absent for some time, but now I remember why I used to love this website. Thank you, I will try and check back more frequently. How frequently you update your site?

  30. Wonderful beat ! I would like to apprentice while you amend your site, how can i subscribe for a blog website? The account helped me a acceptable deal. I had been tiny bit acquainted of this your broadcast offered bright clear concept

  31. One more thing. It’s my opinion that there are lots of travel insurance web sites of dependable companies that allow you to enter your holiday details and obtain you the insurance quotes. You can also purchase your international travel insurance policy on internet by using the credit card. All you need to do is always to enter your travel specifics and you can begin to see the plans side-by-side. Just find the program that suits your financial allowance and needs then use your bank credit card to buy the item. Travel insurance on the internet is a good way to begin looking for a reliable company with regard to international holiday insurance. Thanks for giving your ideas.

  32. I believe that avoiding processed foods could be the first step in order to lose weight. They may taste fine, but prepared foods have very little nutritional value, making you consume more in order to have enough energy to get throughout the day. In case you are constantly feeding on these foods, changing to grain and other complex carbohydrates will help you have more vitality while taking in less. Good blog post.

  33. Thanks for enabling me to attain new ideas about personal computers. I also contain the belief that certain of the best ways to maintain your laptop computer in prime condition is with a hard plastic case, and also shell, that suits over the top of the computer. A lot of these protective gear are usually model distinct since they are made to fit perfectly above the natural casing. You can buy these directly from owner, or via third party places if they are designed for your mobile computer, however not all laptop can have a covering on the market. All over again, thanks for your ideas.

  34. This is very interesting, You’re a very skilled blogger. I’ve joined your rss feed and look forward to seeking more of your great post. Also, I’ve shared your web site in my social networks!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.