♫ I’m a tweet wittle bird in a gilded cage ♫

♫ Tweety’s my name and I don’t know my age ♫

♫ I don’t have to wowwy and dat is dat ♫

♫ I’m tafe in here from dat old putty tat ♫

I’m an introvert, and I live my life largely inside my head. Every once in a while, it amuses me how much human beings – extroverts included – generally do. Live in their heads I mean. Our most poignant emotions take place entirely in our minds. Love. Hate. Jealousy. Embarrassment. Victory. These are all things that can be expressed in action. Like gouging someone’s eyes out, or buying expensive jewellery. But the feeling itself, the force that prompts activity, is all in your head.

That’s how my office has suddenly become a cage. It’s been a slow work day, which means I’ve mostly been online, catching up on blogs, music videos TED talks, and light reading. I had planned to leave at five sharp, but I was in the middle of a long … interesting … long article and figured I’d finish it before I left. Bad idea. Because at 5.18, a light drizzle started.

I wasn’t done with my article until around 5.30, by which time the drizzle was too thick to see through. Remember the day people were stuck on Lang’ata Road till  morning? Well, on that day, I got home at 3.30 a.m. I barely had time to shower, snack, and wake my baby before I was headed back to work again. So … rain too thick to see through is not a good thing.

The instant I had that realisation, I felt trapped. All other factors were constant. There’s still a fridge, a microwave, good company, and internet. Plus, now that I’m not on the clock, I can lose myself for hours in the blissful world of Cracked. Or Candy Crush. Or pointless office gossip. But because I can’t go home until the rain stops, I feel like prisoner at my desk. And it doesn’t help that my boss and his 4×4 have just strolled out of the office. Le sigh.

It’s very easy to slip into this caged, rabid state, even though I’m fully aware it’s totally self-inflicted and it’s all in my mind. If only it was this easy to open invisible doors and walk out of this cell, and all the other imaginary confinements of my life. For now, I can only watch the rain, wait for it to stop, and hope to get home before 3.00 a.m.

♫ Quiet ballad of Ed ♫ Ed Sheeran ♫

107 thoughts on “Trapped

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