I can see how you would do that. We were both moving really fast, and we both had earphones on. Plus, I’m always being accused of snobbing people just because I didn’t see them. They say I have a purpose-driven stride, like I’m rushing off to fight some world-changing battle somewhere. We have that in common, you and I, so I get how you would walk right past and not see me.
You looked good today. Your head was shaved bald, and you had a tailored suit and a red tie. You’ve put on a little weight, but it’s a good look on you. Makes you seem all professional and grown up. The last time I saw you, you had shorts and a t-shirt … and you looked equally hot. You’re just one of those guys I guess.
A tiny part of me wonders if you saw me and just pretended not to, but I prefer not to think so. After all, I’m always being told to pay more attention when I walk, to smell the flowers, feel the breeze, see the hot boys smiling at me. So I can see how you would walk past and not see me.
I thought about shouting your name, but you had earphones on, so you probably wouldn’t have heard me. Besides, I had frozen in mid-step, and people were already staring, so yelling and being ignored would not have helped. I took out my phone to call you, but it hung. Stupid ideot. By the time it decided to function, you were way out of sight. You always had a really fast walk.
I texted you, just to say hi, and to compliment your tie. Then I walked on with a skip in my step and my phone in my hand, just in case you replied. You didn’t though, not until an hour later. There was no sentiment in your text. It was polite, gracious, and formal, almost business-like.
I like that it made me a little bit sad, instead of, you know, utterly debilitated. I like that my heart didn’t skip a beat or double when I saw you. I like that there was no urgency to cross the road and hug you, and say how much I’ve missed you. And I like that I don’t miss you nearly half as much as I used to.
I like that seeing you this morning made my day start with a smile, because a hot boy is always a good reason to smile. But I also like the knowledge that I gained. I like feeling like I can see you, and want you, and slowly walk away. I’m glad to know, finally know, that I’m over you.
♫ It’s been a while ♫ Staind ♫