There are tons of studies that say beautiful people get further in life. They are more likely to be hired, get free stuff, and – of course – find people to date and marry. I’m a very visual person, so I often get the urge to walk up to pretty people and tell them how gorgeous they are. And sometimes, I give in to this urge.

Objectifying men

That said, my daughter is unusually beautiful. (Yes, I know every mother says that, but in my case, I have third, fourth, and fifth party corroboration.) I raise her to do things for herself, to NOT use her beauty as a crutch, to not expect the world to do stuff for her, just because she’s pretty.

It’s a bit hard teaching this lesson, because while I say one thing at home, the world gives her the exact opposite message. Everyone she meets proves that she’s entitled to things as a result of her genes. But that’s not my issue today. My issue today is looking past said genes.

See, I live with my daughter, so it’s natural to see all of her. I don’t just see a pretty face. I see a warm heart, a vibrant spirit, a quick mind. I see so much more than the supporting  documents that have her schoolmates drooling even though she’s only eleven. And as I watched a pretty boy walk past me in the office, I realised I owe him that as well.

As much as I silently admire the beautiful people of the world (and feel too intimidated to do more than watch), they need more. They need to be recognised as people, to be seen for more than just their looks. It’s a counter-intuitive thought, because come on, they already get so much. Now you want to give them more? Can’t we just quietly envy them and try not to stab them with pencils?

No. Because they’re people too. We spend so much time fighting for the underdog, standing by the wall-flowers, championing the introvert. We forget that sometimes beauty can be lonely. Everyone assumes someone that hot must be surrounded by fans and groupies. We don’t notice everyone that while everyone nearby is drooling, they’re all too scared to get close to the beautiful ones. We’re afraid these gifts from God will reject us, or dismiss us. Or we assume someone else must already be giving them the attention they deserve. The last thing they need is one more awkwardly speechless fan, yes?

He looked a lot like this guy, so you really can't blame me.
This one is married. With children. So yeah.

I’m not suggesting you walk up to a pretty person and offer them the favour of your company. But I am suggesting that when you do find yourself around someone that’s dangerously pretty, like that one for example *pointing up there* you go past their looks and see them as a fellow human being. You might be surprised what you learn, and sometimes, what a drop-dead-gorgeous person needs is for somebody to treat them like they’re NOT ridiculously beautiful.

♫ Hollow Point Sniper Hyperbole ♫ Ubiquitous Synergy Seeker ♫

12 thoughts on “Looking past the pretty

  1. Ah you lost me there, I want to touch Jason Momoa’s abs, and let him do whatever he wants with me. . . . .;):)

  2. Yes. Pretty and beautiful can be confusing.
    There are those obvious “pretty”people, that everyone looks at and goes”Wow!”
    Then there are those who you can only know how pretty they are, after really knowing them..
    They are beautiful inside, maybe not pretty outside.
    There is beauty in each and every person alive, but that needs to be found out.

    And you are very right about pretty people being ignored, or sometimes harassed.
    We need to be sensitive.

  3. I always feel like people put too much value on appearances. Yes, we should try to look our best, but beauty isn’t everything. There’s so much more to life!

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