Being the INFJ that I am, my natural course is to be opinionated. I clearly define what I think, and then I yell it long and loud. I don’t always know how to explain it, but I spend a lot of time defending it. In my little world, everything would be so much better if we could all just speak from the heart and say what we really feel.

But I’ve acquired a useful gimmick from two people whose opinion I value a lot. It was put simply and clearly:

CB hun, you don’t always have to say what you think.

Life is so much easier once you learn to just shut up.

Yeah. Working on it 🙂

For more information on 3CB, click here.

It’s been an interesting day. Trying, and surprising, in many ways.

I’m speechless. That doesn’t happen often. I can’t find the words to express what I feel. A friend says I get drama because I seek it. Perhaps I do. But I think sometimes, drama seeks me.

I got some really pretty shoes today. Yay! Met up with family, had some coffee and cake, met some interesting people, discovered T-spot. That was fun. Got a hula hoop for Princess. I don’t know how to use it, so I hope she knows how to learn.

I got a lot of phonecalls, and I made a lot of phonecalls. Some good, some bad, mostly happy, some sad.

I was misunderstood again. I don’t know why this still surprises me. It doesn’t really matter what I mean to say, or how I try to say it, sometimes it just comes out wrong, and once that happens, I can’t change someone’s mind.

I made some new friends today, and lost some old ones, and that’s what hurts the most. I know what I’ve lost, but I don’t know who. My words are locked up in my chest, and I’m afraid to let them out. I don’t feel safe anymore.

Today, somebody took my trust away, and they have no idea what they did, or how deep they cut me. I feel about five inches tall, yet all I did was speak my mind to people I thought were my friends. I was wrong, so very wrong.

I can only be me. I know that causes trouble, but it’s all I know how to do. Most days I love to be me, but not today. Not today.

I’m glad I came home. But in some ways, I’m sorry I came home. And that’s really sad, because I worked so hard for this break, and it sucks that it’s turned out like this. I want it all to go away.

I could just delete everything like I always do when stuff like this happens. But I think three times is enough. This time, I can’t sweep it under the blogger feed. I can’t close that door and ignore it, I can’t pretend not to feel.

I lost something today. I sure hope I can get it back.

The saddest thing of all is this. I once thought you were the sweetest person I’d ever known. Now, I just wish I’d never met you. I’m really sorry.

I don’t want you to forgive me, because I don’t think you will ever understand. I just wish I could somehow forgive myself.

Love, Me.

For more information on 3CB, click here.