Posted on by crystal · 4 Comments

Shida ya kuwa baabi

Naskia s’ku’izi tunaitwanga ma-odinari. Ai … lakini si hiyo ni jina ya tene kiasi … miaka ka’a ngovo hivi.

Dude, I am old.

No, I will not even pretend to attempt further. For me, speaking sheng’ means substituting Anglicized words for Swahili, adding -ing, and occasionally throwing in ‘authentic’ words like ashu, Kingoso, and anchwanimbee. It’s a number. Possibly 300.

But the main problem with being a baabi [is that even how it’s spelt? I refuse to believe it ignites from Barbie]… the main problem with being a baabi isn’t the language, it’s the taste.

It’s not so much that you call it a mat rather than a matatu [or worse, a ma-three!] It’s that you’d rather use the Smartbus, or drive. It’s not that you say 5 reds and 3 Gees instead of soo tano na ngiri. It’s that you have no problem spending said Gees on, oh, I don’t know, original DVDs?

Today my odinari-ness led to a rather interesting day. See, I am looking for three things. A windchime, an hourglass, and a digs for Agnes and Fluffer McKitty.

I love windchimes. They have this happy, happy jingling sound. I especially like the shiny metallic ones that clink like little silver bells. I’ve seen them in many different houses, but those were always gifts, so they have no clue where to buy them. I asked. Severally.

Oh, and Aggie and Fluffer are fish. Possibly goldfish.

What.

The problem wasn’t so much the finding of the windchimes. Well actually, yes, it was. But more than that was the look  I got every time I said the word windchime. Nobody knew what it meant, so I had to describe, in Swa. Mostly, broken Swa. With gestures.

Yes, my Swa is broken again. **grin**

Hizo vitu una-hang kwa roof alafu wind iki-blow zinapiga kelele.

One lady had a stall with chandeliers [on Tom Mboya! I’m still wondering who buys chandeliers out of a stall on Tom Mboya.] She looked at me like I’d lost my head – pretty much the same way I was looking at said lady, whose stall sells chandeliers! On Tom Mboya! Perhaps I should have just said ‘chandelier’. Just for effect.

Another lady asked if I was referring to a doorbell. An attendant at card centre stared at me blankly. No one had any suggestions on where I could get one.

So. Does anyone know where I can get an hourglass and windchimes? I’m easy on the home for Agnes…

♫ Closing time ♫ Semisonic ♫

Posted on by crystal · 3 Comments

Baby steps

When I decided I wanted to freelance, I had no idea where to start. I left a well-paying job with a few months worth of savings, sold all my stuff, grabbed my baby girl and came home. I splurged on furniture, crockery, a TV, a microwave, and a sizeable modem.

Then I broke down. I mean, what next?

Enter Kelvin who I bumped into on twitter. We had been talking for a while, and I figured he’d be a good start. He was. With his help, we figured the first step was to set up a website.

I didn’t think I’d ever have a website, because it seemed, you know, vain. But then again, in some senses, so is a name. People call me Crystal, because that’s who I am. In some ways, website is just  a different name, a form of identity. It helps people know who you are.

The next step was to find someone to set up the site for me. These guys not only got me started, they did – and still are – taking me through the process step by step.  Which is good when you’re the queen of technobofia and can’t tell your pixels from your bits and bytes.

And I still think TB is a silly abbreviation and terrabytes should really be called tetrabytes. It just sounds better.

So anyway, now that I am toddling along, I need to find a good pair of shoes. Preferably colour-coded khaki sneaks.

Let the games begin.