February means one thing to me: Superbowl ads! I work in advertising, which means I should be immune to most things. But I’m still a big sofite at heart, and I look forward to the biggest half time of the year. Well, I look forward to the morning after the biggest half time of the year, because that’s when someone gathers all the half-time ads and puts them on the net.

The last thing said net needs is another dissection of Superbowl Ads, especially one done by an ‘insider’. But for some reason, this year’s ads solicited such an opinion that I really can’t help but babble. Let’s start with the good. Doritos ads, as usual, made me happy. Especially When Pigs Fly. That just gave me all kinds of fuzzies. Yay for the nerds! Their Middle Seat as was pretty funny too. I don’t know what Doritos are, but between the goat, the tea, and the dog, I’d buy them for ads alone.

Mercedes did some word play on the tortoise and the hare that made me far happier than their previous attempts *shudder*. Fiat Viagra had me feeling very very happy. So clever, so simple. That’s how you use old people in ads. I definitely approve. And they didn’t use hot girls in the GoDaddy ad this year, which is … puzzling. I’m not saying that they should use hot girls. Just that it’s puzzling they didn’t. Also, I admit the Snickers Brady Bunch ad made me smile.

Of course there had to be some cheap shots. Liam in Revenge, Kate on War Game, Snoop in Hangry, Pierce in Kia, Mindy and Matt, Kim in whatever-that-was-she-was-in, that guy in Nascar, everyone in Wisdom … no dice. Nothing but not so cheap publicity and lazy writing. And Skittles? For some reason, it made me think of this. Because … you know … that’s how my mind works. *Omar Whistle*

Then there are these two ads. Both are targeted at young(?) virile males, so the cliches are perfectly effective. I prefer the Budweiser because the copy is clever. It’s literal to the target and tongue-in-cheek to everyone else, kind of like Big Bang Theory. I would totally buy a Bud after this. Especially after the rather embarrassing wine-tasting session I recently attended with my primary school crush.

As for the Carl’s Organic ad, well, we can complain as much as we like, but fact is most burgers are bought by virile men, which means this ad will sell burgers, and that’s kind of the whole point. Annoying the feminists and vegans was probably a bonus. #ControversySells. On the upside, it shows a very curvy girl emjoying a very tasty burger, so that does count for something. Few things are as annoying as watching a svelte, sexy girl dig into a burger on TV when there isn’t an ounce of excess fat on body. Le sigh. Anyway, here’s an ad I really liked. Even if I am going to hell for laughing at it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuVsf_hE7gM

Okay. Now, I’m not a fan of Coca Cola. But I do agree the net can be toxic, so this ad hit my fuzzy spot. No, not that fuzzy spot, and no, it wasn’t enough to make me buy a coke, but I’ll admit their marketing team knows how to #MakeItHappy. It’s funny how human beings operate, hurting others to mask our own pain. It’s the #MeanGirlSyndrome and we all have it. Some just use it more than others. So I do salute Coca Cola for 60 seconds of diffusing the hate.

Now. Let’s talk about what Greg and Walter White have in common. They’re both over 50 years old. They both used to own a Pontiac Aztec, and they both have a lot of experience with drugs. This ad? I love this ad. I didn’t get past episode 5 of season 1 of Breaking Bad, but I love this ad. That is all.

And can I just say how cool it was to see so. many. dad. ads? I know we mostly target commercials to young, active mums who have all the spending power. And that we use women in ads because, ‘Men love women looking at women and women don’t mind looking at women’ (and also, sex sells), even though I’d much rather be staring at good fathers and nice abs. So this year, I got more than my fair share of daddy candy (yes, I know how horrible that sounds). I hope the trend continues.

Now, some ads, I just didn’t get. The avocados? Mountain Dew? Sprint Apology? Turbo Tax? WeatherTech? Jurassic World? Jurassic World? Yes, I typed it twice. Because … how are they making another Jurassic movie? #RantForAnotherDay. Also, Michael Hill is jewellery. I Googled it.

Anyway, the real reason for this post is Chevrolet. Or rather, this Chevrolet ad. The premise is that random people were shown two photos of the same man. In one picture, he was standing in front of a Prius (or some such car). In the second, he was in front of a red ‘truck’. The two pictures are up there *pointing*. The people were then asked which guy was more sexy. I gave the same answer they all did. And it made me wonder.

What is it about pick-up that are sexy? It’s just a car after all. Is it because cowboys, rugged types and box-cut male characters always drive them? If I saw some typically rural guy in a Hilux full of bananas, would I find him as sexy as the guy up there *still pointing*? Or have we just watched to many ads and movie clips that say ‘sexy men drive trucks’? Is this association between testosterone and horsepower an invention of the media? And if it is, then why am I – a smart, intelligent feminist that works in advertising – not immune to it?

♫ Bleed it out ♫ Linkin Park ♫