I have a teenage daughter, and my greatest fear is that she will get pregnant before she’s ready to be a mum. We’ve talked about safe sex, abstinence, condoms, self-defence, the whole nine yards, so it’s not a very tangible worry. Still, the anxiety remains. What would we do if she got pregnant? Would she quit school for a year, then resume after she delivers? Can she handle that kind of social stigma?

Would we keep the baby or put him/her up for adoption? Do people do things like that in Kenya – putting babies up for adoption? Can I raise my grandchild until my baby is ready to do it herself? Or … would we have an abortion? Would she want an abortion, or would I make that decision for her? Would she ever forgive herself? Would she ever forgive me?

You’ll notice one thing in this thought thread. It doesn’t consider the baby. Yes, it’s a baby. We could call it a foetus or an embryo or a zygote or whatever scientific term is more factual, but for me, it will always be a baby. And the fact that I know s/he is a baby doesn’t change my thoughts about the matter.

Equal rights abortion

I bumped into this image on my Facebook feed, and it made me sad. Because I’m one of the 26 million people who put a rainbow flag behind their Facebook profile pictures. I think people should marry whoever they want to marry, just as long as that person wants to marry them. i.e. no forced marriages, arranged marriages, child marriages, rape marriages.

Consensual gay marriages, those are awesome. If two people love each other, and they want to get married, it’s their life, their union, their wedding bed. We have no business interfering, and they’re not hurting anybody. Some people disagree. They say things like,’if your parents were gay, you wouldn’t exist. And it’s true, I wouldn’t. But how many straight couples are there that choose not to have children? How different are they from gay couples?

Yes, my parents were straight, that’s who they are and how they were born. There are also tons of straight people who gave birth but didn’t, wouldn’t, or couldn’t raise their kids. Some of those kids will be adopted by gay couples, and guess what, they’ll have a good life that their straight parents couldn’t give them. How is that a bad thing? And by the way, in case you haven’t heard, gay couples can have biological children. Because science.

That's not necessarily true. Also, did anyone notice the handcuffs?
That’s not necessarily true. Also, did anyone notice the handcuffs?

Now, that same argument *pointing* is sometimes used to refute abortion. That whole, ‘You are here because your parents didn’t abort you.’ Again, true. I am. But … there are plenty of evil people in this world that weren’t aborted either, so how is that a valid argument? And … there are plenty of people that weren’t aborted but they’re not here either. They died of sickness, accidents, natural causes, all sorts of things.

Killing a baby before they’re born is cruel, because the baby can’t speak for themselves. For the first three years of their lives – and that includes the 9 months they soend in their mother’s belly – they can’t speak for themselves. They can’t defend their rights. they can eat, or speak, or pee. Their mother does it for them.

And THAT is exactly my point.

For three years, a mother is entirely responsible for her child. She has to feed, clothe, change, educate, entertain, and care for this child. For the first nine months, she has to do this completely alone, because the baby is inside her body. After delivery, she might get help from the baby’s father, or friends, family, nanny, babysitter.

In fact, after those nine months, other people may take over entirely! Shout out to single dads and adoptive parents. But those first nine months, a biological mother entirely on her own. No matter how much her we love her, we can’t help her.

Stressed pregnant woman

Your friends can drive you places, your man can cater to your cravings, your neighbour can forgive your crankiness, strangers can let you cut the line. But when it comes to caring for that baby that is growing inside you, nobody can do it but you.

So what happens when you can’t do it? What happens if you’re too tired, or too weak, or too traumatised, or too busy to take care of that baby? What happens when you can’t be pregnant … especially when you already ARE pregnant?

See, it’s really easy for someone else to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do, to explain how you should or shouldn’t feel. What isn’t as easy is for them to take that growing baby out of their belly, put him/her into their own belly, and gestate them for nine months.

As parents, we often make decisions for our kids. They’re not always the best decisions, but they are decisions that we – as parents – are mandated to make. A baby in a womb can’t speak for themselves. That is true. Only their mother can speak for them. And we – as non-mothers to that particular child – have no right to make those decisions for that mother – or her child. We are not responsible for that child. His/her mother is. And as long as that child is in her tummy, the choice of how to raise him, or whether to have her at all, is nobody’s business but the mother.

pro-choice-mommy

♫ Wide awake ♫ Katy Perry ♫

121 thoughts on “For life. For love. For children.”

  1. I haven’t checked in here for a while because I thought it was getting boring, but the last few posts are good quality so I guess I will add you back to my daily bloglist. You deserve it my friend 🙂

  2. Good day I am so glad I found your weblog, I really found you by mistake, while I was looking on Yahoo for something else, Nonetheless I am here now and would just like to say many thanks for a fantastic post and a all round thrilling blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to browse it all at the minute but I have bookmarked it and also included your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a great deal more, Please do keep up the awesome job.

  4. Hey there! Someone in my Myspace group shared this website with us so I came to check it out. I’m definitely enjoying the information. I’m bookmarking and will be tweeting this to my followers! Fantastic blog and superb style and design.

  5. Thanks a lot for the helpful posting. It is also my opinion that mesothelioma cancer has an extremely long latency period of time, which means that signs of the disease might not emerge till 30 to 50 years after the preliminary exposure to mesothelioma. Pleural mesothelioma, that is the most common style and impacts the area around the lungs, could cause shortness of breath, chest muscles pains, including a persistent coughing, which may result in coughing up maintain.

  7. I was just looking for this info for some time. After six hours of continuous Googleing, finally I got it in your web site. I wonder what’s the lack of Google strategy that do not rank this kind of informative web sites in top of the list. Usually the top sites are full of garbage.

  8. Wow, wonderful weblog format! How lengthy have you been running a blog for? you made blogging glance easy. The whole glance of your website is wonderful, as smartly as the content!

  9. Hey, you used to write excellent, but the last few posts have been kinda boring… I miss your great writings. Past several posts are just a bit out of track! come on!

  10. Hi there, I discovered your web site by means of Google even as looking for a related matter, your website got here up, it seems to be great. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.

  11. Oh my goodness! an incredible article dude. Thanks Nevertheless I am experiencing situation with ur rss . Don’t know why Unable to subscribe to it. Is there anyone getting similar rss drawback? Anyone who is aware of kindly respond. Thnkx

  12. Woah! I’m really loving the template/theme of this blog. It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s very difficult to get that “perfect balance” between usability and appearance. I must say you’ve done a fantastic job with this. Additionally, the blog loads super fast for me on Firefox. Outstanding Blog!

  13. Whats up very cool blog!! Man .. Excellent .. Superb .. I will bookmark your site and take the feeds additionally…I’m glad to find so many helpful info right here in the put up, we need work out extra strategies in this regard, thanks for sharing. . . . . .

  14. I will right away grab your rss feed as I can’t find your email subscription link or newsletter service. Do you’ve any? Please let me know so that I could subscribe. Thanks.

  15. Excellent website you have here but I was wondering if you knew of any discussion boards that cover the same topics talked about here? I’d really like to be a part of group where I can get feedback from other knowledgeable individuals that share the same interest. If you have any suggestions, please let me know. Thank you!

  17. I have discovered that rates for online degree authorities tend to be an awesome value. For example a full 4-year college Degree in Communication in the University of Phoenix Online consists of 60 credits at $515/credit or $30,900. Also American Intercontinental University Online gives a Bachelors of Business Administration with a entire program requirement of 180 units and a price of $30,560. Online degree learning has made taking your education so much easier because you could earn the degree in the comfort of your dwelling place and when you finish from office. Thanks for other tips I’ve learned through your web site.

  18. ?היי יש לי לקוחות חדשים בשבילך יכל לעניין אותך

  20. I was just searching for this information for some time. After six hours of continuous Googleing, at last I got it in your site. I wonder what is the lack of Google strategy that don’t rank this kind of informative sites in top of the list. Normally the top websites are full of garbage.

  22. Attractive section of content. I just stumbled upon your weblog and in accession capital to assert that I get in fact enjoyed account your blog posts. Anyway I’ll be subscribing to your feeds and even I achievement you access consistently quickly.

  23. Hi there, simply changed into alert to your blog thru Google, and found that it is truly informative. I’m going to watch out for brussels. I’ll appreciate should you proceed this in future. Lots of folks shall be benefited from your writing. Cheers!

  24. I cherished up to you’ll obtain performed right here. The sketch is attractive, your authored subject matter stylish. however, you command get bought an shakiness over that you would like be turning in the following. unwell undoubtedly come more formerly once more since precisely the similar just about very often inside of case you defend this hike.

  25. Excellent goods from you, man. I have understand your stuff previous to and you are just too wonderful. I actually like what you have acquired here, really like what you are stating and the way in which you say it. You make it entertaining and you still take care of to keep it sensible. I can’t wait to read much more from you. This is actually a wonderful website.

  28. Thanks for your write-up. I also feel that laptop computers have grown to be more and more popular today, and now will often be the only form of computer utilized in a household. The reason is that at the same time that they’re becoming more and more very affordable, their working power keeps growing to the point where they may be as powerful as pc’s out of just a few years ago.

  29. Hi, Neat post. There’s a problem with your website in internet explorer, would check this… IE still is the market leader and a big portion of people will miss your magnificent writing because of this problem.

  32. Hey there, I think your website might be having browser compatibility issues. When I look at your website in Opera, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, excellent blog!

  36. Hey, I think your blog might be having browser compatibility issues. When I look at your blog site in Safari, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, wonderful blog!

  38. This is very interesting, You’re a very skilled blogger. I have joined your rss feed and look forward to seeking more of your great post. Also, I have shared your site in my social networks!

  39. My husband and i have been very thankful that Chris managed to conclude his research through your ideas he had in your web page. It’s not at all simplistic to just possibly be giving freely methods which some people could have been making money from. And now we figure out we need the website owner to give thanks to for that. Most of the explanations you made, the easy web site navigation, the relationships you help to engender – it’s many awesome, and it’s really making our son and us imagine that that theme is fun, which is certainly exceptionally important. Many thanks for all!

  46. Hey I am so excited I found your website, I really found you by accident, while I was looking on Google for something else, Nonetheless I am here now and would just like to say thanks a lot for a tremendous post and a all round enjoyable blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to look over it all at the minute but I have bookmarked it and also added your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a lot more, Please do keep up the fantastic work.

  47. Hey! Do you know if they make any plugins to help with SEO? I’m trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I’m not seeing very good gains. If you know of any please share. Many thanks!

  48. Wow! This could be one particular of the most useful blogs We’ve ever arrive across on this subject. Basically Magnificent. I’m also an expert in this topic therefore I can understand your effort.

  49. I’ll right away seize your rss feed as I can’t find your e-mail subscription hyperlink or e-newsletter service. Do you have any? Kindly allow me recognize in order that I could subscribe. Thanks.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.