So last night, I got a statement for an an account I haven’t used in a while. It’s a savings account with no levy fees … or so I thought. But after the statement claiming I had accrued fees and penalties and shit, I started to worry about all my other ‘dormant’ accounts. I spent the rest of the night freaking out, and most of today calling every bank I’ve ever walked into, asking what they did with my account…

• ● One has my dormant account on record 15 years later. I can re-activate if I want.
• ● One has my joint account listed as active. I don’t even know the account number.
• ● One has no memory of me at all, which is a good thing I guess.

So now I have to decide which accounts I should (not) re-activate, which had me Googling shit like credit scores, hard pulls, and the real effect of having too many accounts. (Turns out there’s no such thing as ‘too many accounts.’ Unless the accounts have unpaid ledger fees, in which case, you’re screwed.)

Next, I made another bunch of phone calls to find out the procedure for closing an account. Hehehe. It’s easier to just keep them active. Cheaper too. And since I’m resetting myself and doing some work with an investment firm, I expect to get a lot more savvy and a lot less panicky. Let’s see how this goes. Also, happy holidays …

♫ I never fell ♫ Ed Sheeran ♫