I suppose I’ve always been a cougar. I remember having crushes on my little brother’s classmates, and that was years ago. In all fairness, the classmate in question was 5 feet tall, half German, and had  a name like a movie star. He was 7, and I was … not.

I told a good friend about my … fetish … and she suggested I was looking for someone to mother. Strange, because I already have a baby, and I’m not very motherly. I’m sure there’s some freudian theory involved, but I don’t think about it too much. Between the purple hair, the pierced nose, the perpetual jeans, and the backpack, I can pass for a college kid, so the age of my dates is not a big deal.

This does backfire, however, when I have to go for parent’s day.

Anyway, a few nights ago, I was preparing for a birthday party, and after spending the whole day cooking and cleaning, I had a chronic backache and a bad case of the dizzies. I settled on the sofa to eat and bumped into a TCM movie. I was looking for the title, but I missed the beginning, and all I could remember were the characters. Yay Google!

The name of the movie is 40 Carats. It’s about a forty year old girl liking a 22 year old boy, and it was made in 1973. I liked the movie because it was sentimental and sweet, and because it dealt with a lot of my issues. Plus, it had a happy ending.

A lot of things stood out for me. Anne, the leading lady, has an interesting relationship with her ex. They’re like best friends – well – sort of. He constantly asks her for money, which she gives him. That part is kind of weird. He hardly knows their 17 year old daughter, is adored by his ex mum-in-law, and he flirts constantly, with everyone. But the subject is handled with humour, so you laugh about it instead of cursing him out.

They’re comfortable enough to talk about their dates, and he comes by her house and rubs her feet. He even encourages her to marry, even though he clearly still has feelings for her. He wants her to be happy. But again, the movie has light, workable scenes. None of that Bold & Beautiful drama that would make it all sappy.

I was looking at Billy and Anne, in that scene where they’re on the sofa, and her legs are on his knees, and they’re talking about her date with JD. I kept wondering if I’d be quite as cosy with an ex. I only have one ex that I consider a friend … and we cordially talk about my current … but I don’t think I’d let him into my bedroom. That would be, you know, weird. Still, the fact that I finally have an ex who’s a friend does mean I’m growing up, no?

As I watched scenes between Anne and Billy, I noticed that they were pals. They were comfortable together. I wondered why they split up in the first place. Maybe years from now, when I’m forty, I’ll be just as close with this ex, and maybe we’ll wonder why we broke up as well.

Sometimes, when we talk, I wonder if he misses me, or if he wishes we hadn’t broken up. As for me, I don’t wonder. I know exactly what went wrong, and I’m glad, because I’m in a happier place now. I’m seeing someone who makes me happy, and I’ve never been this comfortable with anyone. He’s immensely easy to be with, and it feels pretty awesome.

I’m glad that the ex and I are friends though. Maybe one day, when I’m all grown up, I’ll be friends with all my exes. It makes life a lot easier.

In the movie, there’s a scene where Peter [the 22 year old] takes Anne [the 40 year old] to a party with his friends. It’s a swing-ish party, lots of nubile, half-clad women, and they’re largely all over the boy. One even tells Anne ‘You’re getting the best here. He’s like WOW!’ I admit it, I squirmed on her behalf. If some goddess half my age walked up to me and complimented my date’s bedroom skills … well, let’s just say extreme scariness would ensue. Logic suggests that the guy is with you, not the complimenter, but really, when you’ve got Halle Berry standing in front of you praising your man’s … assets … logic isn’t really what comes to mind.

In other news, there’s a DSTV offer where you can get a 6 month subscription plus installation for Ksh 10,000. I’ve always wanted to have TCM on demand, so I was looking through the packages.  The cheaper ones don’t have any good channels, and if I want the History Channel, I have to buy the full 6K package. Oh well. I guess I’ll just have to stick with after hours. It was a fun idea while it lasted.

♫ Grenade ♫ Bruno Mars ♫