There’s a guy in the neighbourhood who washes the cars in the morning. He’s a really old guy, and he’s really friendly. Generally, I don’t talk to people unless they talk to me first [or unless the conversation is online]. Out in the ‘real’ world, I often let people make the first approach. I got friendly with him because he’d say hi at 6.00 a.m. as I walked into the gym. We’ve never said more than good morning, but it’s now pretty much routine.

Two days into 2011, he said a few more words. He hinted that I hadn’t given him his New Year. Please note that he doesn’t work for me, I don’t know his name, and I don’t even own a car … yet. I was put off, but I was in a good mood, so I laughed it off and walked on. I’m surprised I didn’t frown or look embarrassed.

It reminded me of my watchman in Dar. When I was moving house, he demanded a tip. I was going to give him one anyway, but I was offended that he asked, especially as it was a company house, and the reason I was moving is that I was no longer eligible for staff housing. I had explained all this clearly, but in his mind, I was Kenyan, and I was raising a baby on my own, ergo, I must have money.

Conversely, the guy at School Outfitters was courteous, fun, and respectfully flirty. I bought uniforms late due of a late-clearing cheque. That meant I couldn’t take princess with me for fitting, as she was already in school. I had to guesstimate her size using a complex algorithm which involved her height, her shoe size, her weight in pounds … and buying three sizes larger than last year. So I went to the shop armed with … last year’s receipts. Sharp, yes?

When the guy recognized his handwriting from last year, he bantered a lot more, gave advice on silicone swimming caps … and asked for soda after. I gladly gave it to him. Maybe it was the way he asked, or maybe he’s just a really good flirt. His Muindi boss was furious … and I hope it’s not offensive to call him a Muindi Boss. iCon?

All this made me think about waitresses, bag boys, and all the other workers in the tip-based industry. I’ve always felt rather begrudging about people who ask to be tipped for doing their jobs. Isn’t that why you draw a wage?

I’m reminded of the debate at the beginning of Reservoir dogs. Not the Madonna debate, though that’s my favourite part of the movie. I mean the next debate, the one about the bill. Mr Pink says he doesn’t do tips, and Mr White says the waitresses need tips because it’s how they survive. Their salary is way too low to live on.

Here’s my question. Managers decide waiters’ salaries based on the assumption that they’ll be tipped. That’s why – if sitcoms are to be trusted – tips are part of culture in some places. It’s like part of the bill or something, No thought, no argument, no reasoning … it’s just something you do. Still, do we tip because the wages are low, or are the wages low because we tip? Who’s the chicken and who’s the egg? Also, who decided waitresses should be tipped and hairdressers shouldn’t? How come no one ever thinks to tip their dentist or their shoe shine guy, or even their house help? Aren’t they all low paying jobs?

Well maybe not the dentist, but you get my point. Who decided the hierarchy of tipping?

I suppose after a while, you stop fighting it and go with the flow, just like Mr Pink did in the movie. I don’t issue tips out of habit. I give it if you were really nice to me, or if I don’t feel like carrying the change. I’ve never tipped more than 50 bob, and I was amazed to see a lady tip a G at Java, seeing as that cost way more than my entire meal. Still it was Java Gigiri, and the air is slightly different there. I think it’s all the trees.

Kharma is a funny b*tch, and she’ll probably make a me a waitress in my next life, just to prove a point. But until then, I’m going to wonder why some careers demand tips and others don’t.

I’ll close with an urban legend I heard about Grand Regency [or whatever it’s calling itself now]. A client was calculating what to give as a tip when he was forewarned [the legend doesn’t say by who] …

“Don’t bother. He probably earns more than you do.”

342 thoughts on “On the issue of tipping”

  2. i wondering the same thing as ngatts…

    Actually, I’ve always been on the assumption it’s 10-20%, 10% being minimum…Their basic pay is not all that much to begin with, hence they rely on tips (and when you think about it, it’s a smart idea coz the waiters will be on their toes when it comes to service, instead of just expecting a huge paycheck end month whether or not their service was excellent).

    In some restaurants, they will include a service charge in your bill. This service charge will be split up amongst the waiters who were on duty that night.

    Always tip. Trust me on this one…

  3. Hmmm…swali nyeti hio..

    I have struggled also in trying to decide who is eligible for a tip and what percentage.

    Most times I work with the 10% rule when determining amount. But for circumstances…well…I would prefer to offer it rather than have someone demand for it. Which is why parking in town irks me so. I tip my watchman at home when he washes my car..thats a service i find valuable. I will occasionally hook him up with a kachai and in return, he’ll run an errand or two quite happily.

    But those who come at me like its something I owe them…

  4. First of all, seems you were in a hurry or were changing words abruptly because of the errors but that is beside the point.
    Anyway, here in SA tipping is a culture, it is natural and waiters/waitresses and barmen take home more tips than the salary. I know a lot of Kenyan waiters and barmen who are living large because of the tips they receive.

    It is not yet a culture to tip but with the summer bunnies and people coming back home from all over the world, maybe it is going to catch on.

  5. Guestimate is a very cool word, i heard it for the first time a couple of weeks ago and i was sacred i’d forget it. I also really liked that scene in reservoir dogs very interesting arguments. As for tipping i don’t think it’s customary in kenya maybe a once in a while cigarette to a watchman or when you are really moved by the service

  6. @WWF I always liked that word.

    @Bomseh Are they still called summer bunnies if they refuse to leave?

    @SamSam I’m afraid to be friendly with my neighbourhood watchie because ikifika Christmas na New Year, it will lead to situations like *pointing up there*. Plus, as a chick, I can get away with ignoring them. They just assume I’m a cold b***. Luckily, Princess has a personality that melts icebergs, so she more than makes up for it *cheeky grin*

    @Nyambura and ngatts I have no clue where I got my 20% from. Must have been a sitcom in New York.

  7. If they refuse to leave, they might be called the prodigal sons/daughters. Kenya has welcomed them back and they feel good about it.

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