I think I need to start a category for random-ness-ness-ness. It’s way easier than trying to remember what the title was for my last random post.

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It’s christmas, yay! Excuse to get out my little wire-and-plastic tree and make it all shiny. I’ve been planning to do it since November 29th. I hope to get it done before the New Year.

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There was a flood on my way to work. I had to fold my trousers up to the knee, hold my shoes in my hand, and wade through the water. Fun! Slipping on the mud … not-so-fun. But a nice lady showed me where the sand was. It had sharpish stones, but it was far less messy. So, still, fun!

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I went christmas shopping yesterday. Fun! I bought princess a teeny red electric guitar, got a  funky  radio [with CD] for the nanny, and for me, a bakery measuring set and a bathroom scale. I am so easily amused.

They pounced on me and opened their gifts before I could wrap them. Meh.

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The pretty boy that I adore officially adores me back. Woohooo! Happiness is this. **doing Indian fist jig**

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I’ve been gliding on fairy wings for the last two days, now that everything I was worried about is sorted. Bliss bliss bliss! I planned on milking the feeling as long as I could. Until an annoying mail spoilt it for me. Note to self: stop reading spam.

Interestingly, I was indifferent to the mailer. Woop woop! Progress! No more bile, no more anger, just a blank feeling of wha’ever, and mild annoyance at the mindframe [and persistence] of the sender.

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Walschism declares there are only two human emotions: love and fear. Everything else stems from this. And the way to beat fear is to turn it to love.

Now granted, some people are beyond love. Srsly. But you can still work around the fear. For instance, I realise that my hatred for the other half of my precious baby’s DNA is only harming me. So instead, I focus on the pain, and am filled with gratefulness [and gratitude also] that the pain I faced with him has prepared me to better appreciate the unending love of my sailor boy, this one who sees me as I am and loves me anyway. And he cooks too!

They say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Right now, I am over, under, [mutually enamoured] and totally surrounding a very special sailor boy, so you, yes you, go away already. Shoo. I am perfectly happy, so please let me be.

Now that there is no more rage and no more fear, I can listen, smile and walk away, free at last. I have wanted to say this for a very very very long time, and today, finally, I can honestly say…

I feel nothing. Yay!

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I like INTJs. They’re fun. Scary cold, but mostly, fun. Smart too.

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Armed with my Walschism, I looked at the five people that irk me, they who sit on my chest and smoke my oxygen. I realise the Sponsoring Thought is fear. I don’t know what it is about them that makes me uneasy, but I admit I am afraid of them and of this invisible power they wield. They’re like little tiny Smeagol rings. In their presence, there is no overt malevolence. But hissing out of the unseen silence that engulfs them, I hear ‘myyyyy preciousssssss’. It makes it hard for me to breathe.

So here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to find them. I’m going to study them keenly, put them on my little CB-scope, and find the source of the fear. Then I’m going to turn that fear to love.

I already know that with one person, my fear is based on perception. I am afraid of what this person is. They appear to be one thing, but I fear that deep down, they are something else. To turn the fear into love, I will not suddenly pull a Tiny Tim, hug the person and say ‘God bless us, everyone’. Coz that would be creepy … and also, I might get slapped.

Instead,  I concede that the appearance is a good thing, and it’s cool that the appearance is so popular. I mean think about it. Alicia Keyes and Beyonce have pretty hair – nobody cares that it’s not real. So I will simply compliment the pretty fake hair and sing along to my favourite song. I will acknowledge the rose, admit that it smells nice, and smile, even though flowers aren’t really my thing.

Except the single, long-stemmed peach kind, those are awesome.

Voila, no more scaredy cat. Yay! **cheeky grin**

One down, four to go.

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Did anyone figure out how to get rid of those annoying Robert Alai emails? I’ve been forcefully subscribed to a similar one called Young Professionals Kenya. It won’t let me unsubscribe and it’s filling my inbox with 80 emails a day.  Spamming and filters don’t work. Help?!

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I had NO idea today was Friday. Woop woop! And I forgot to wear jeans! Crud. Oh well. Happy Friday all!!

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So if you know the words, then try to sing along

And when you get the beat grab your hammer bang a gong

Coz you don’t gotta fight, or make yourself belong

to be a revolution.

♫ Jars of Clay ♫ Revolution ♫

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