Posted on by crystal · 18 Comments

Twitter, wedding rings, and Eagle Eye Cherry

It’s been one of those weeks. I opened this window with a great story idea, but then I got distracted by five other windows and lost my train of thought. I really do suck at the art of the multitask.

When I’m alone in the house, I like to put on rock music very loud and sing along. My neighbours can knock for hours and I won’t hear them, because the walls are pretty soundproof. I can’t hear them rapping [the door] and they can’t hear me booming my rock.

Often, when I’m on rock mode, I hold imaginary microphones and pull a fake karaoke. It’s so fun. But yesterday, after doing the rock thing all day, downloading gigs worth of Manga, and watching the Poltergeist alone at 2.00 a.m., I had a hard time getting to sleep.

When I finally did sleep, I dreamt I was a Japanese girl in semi-manga Catholic uniform and pigtails, and that I had to play a karaoke gig. For some reason, schoolgirls were not allowed to karaoke. We were called some unpronouncable Manga name that I can’t remember, so I had to wear this massive luminous yellow jacket to hide my uniform.

Trouble is … I kept removing the jacket to find my microphone and backpack, then having to sprint down corridors and escalators to escape the music police.

Yeah, I definitely need a new hobby. The hair was so cool though.

I was thinking of quitting twitter [again] but a couple of friends talked me out of it. One reminded me not to take it so personally. After all, it’s only 140 characters. You can’t do much harm with that, no matter how hard you try. As he keeps telling me, it’s never that serious.

The other pal helped me put things in perspective. We were talking about some ish that went down a while back. I hadn’t revisited it in a while, but I ended up crying as we talked.

Once we were done, I realised that compared to that, any beef I have now is mere cotton candy. If I lived through that, I can live through anything. My mum tells me that all the time, but then again, all mothers do. It took an objective person to help me really see it. The issues I have right now are nothing.

Thank [God, kharma, the universe, or whichever deity applies to your faith life] for good friends.

In other news, I’ve been doing some work on rings, and I’ve picked up some interesting trivia. You know that ring that has two hands holding a heart with a crown on it?

It’s called a Claddagh ring, and it comes from ancient Ireland. You wear it on your right hand if you’re available, and on your left hand if you’re taken. If the ring faces outside, you’re still slice-able. When your heart is gone, you wear the thing with the heart hidden, facing your palm, with the bottom of the ring pointing at the veins that lead to your heart.

According to Wikipedia, Claddagh rings are often used at weddings, where the ring-giving vows include:

  1. With my two hands I give you my heart, and crown it with my loyalty.
  2. You hold my heart in your hands, and I crown it with my love.
  3. Let love and friendship reign forever.
  4. With this crown, I give my loyalty, with these hands, I offer my service, with this heart, I give you mine.

I added one of my own:

With this ring, i crown you king of my heart.

Of course, I doubt he’d actually wear such a gay-looking ring, and even I have to admit it’s pretty ugly. It’s a nice story though.

PS: Ooooooooh Eagle Eye Cherry! I heart X Fm.

♫ Falling in love again ♫ Eagle Eye Cherry ♫

Posted on by crystal · 136 Comments

Of lovers and blank slates

When I was dating my baby girl’s dad, I acquired a taste for Range Rovers. I’d always thought Defender’s were hot, but when I was with him, it took my admiration to a whole new level.

I read the Range Rover Mags, watched documentaries, and learned to tell a TDI 90 from a Land Rover 110 on sight. [It’s a lot easier than it sounds.]

My brothers were appalled by this new hobby. They thought the man was influencing me, and that I was losing myself. Especially when I announced a planned road trip to The Cape. By Rover.

I dated a few bad ideas after that, and they came with a passing interest in Islam, Go Karting, pool, and bowling. Now, I’m with a beautiful, amazing, wonderful guy … and I’m suddenly consuming Manga.

I’ve always liked Manga – in a sense – though I didn’t quite know what it was. I liked cartoons that had huge eyes and purple hair and looked hilarious when they yelled. I used to trace the pictures on those large Chinese floaters – pictures of girls with doe-shaped eyes, strange-coloured bangs, and tiny red lips. These – I now know – were images from classic Manga.

I also enjoy watching Bakugan, even though nothing ever happens. I drool over Dan Cusso’s shaggy locks, Julie’s pretty coiffes, Alice’s dreamy eyes … and the clothes are nice too.  Who can forget Shun? That boy is HOT!

Yes, I’m fully aware that these creatures are all anime. It’s called Otaku. I’ve also been known to dream in Manga.

I first learnt the word Manga when STV started showing it in the 90s. They had this show called the Manga Zone, which at first I loved, because:

  1. It was a cartoon.
  2. The girls were so pretty.
  3. The boys were even more pretty.

I stopped watching the Manga Zone after the show depicted a rape scene. Clearly, not all cartoons are suitable for children. 20 years later, I’m still traumatised by Akira.

I don’t think that my love for my man feeds my interest in Japanese comics. I accept that I’m studying them in a bid to get closer to him, to get inside his mind, to know him a little better and figure him out.

I’m trying out a lot of his hobbies as I slip into his world and he softly comes into mine. It’s like that Freshly Ground video where the black girl who loves red falls for the white guy who loves green. They like the beach and they like each other, but when they try to bond, the colours get in the way.

In the end, the red girl wears some green and the green guy wears some red, and they build a beautiful multicoloured home together, on the beach. Green plus red makes purple, right?

Anyway, this habit of picking my man’s habits sounds a bit unhealthy. I look like a blank slate, built solely for the man that I love write on. It’s a scary thought.

But the truth is I’m large on fads. I was looking through my shelf the other day and found hundreds of items that I had started but never completed. Things like guitar chords, meditating lessons, rubber accupuncture, cookie recipes … even a paperback copy of Gone with the Wind. I start things with lots of energy, but I don’t always finish them.

The things I pick up from my men are fads too. I start them so we can do stuff together, and if they’re enjoyable, I’ll stick with them for a while. I started reading The Animorphs because  he recommended them, and ended up reading the ones he’d never heard of; I loved it that much.

[Please not that The Animorphs is a 90 page series for 12 year-olds. It has 54 volumes, plus 6 bumper editions. In the last six months, I have read all of them.]

I don’t know how long this Manga phase will last, and I don’t know how many more phases I’ll pick from people that I love. It’s my nature to graft onto people I care about.

Fortunately, it’s a trait that is useful in business. I find a new client and adopt their project, just like a new hobby. I find out all I can about it, absorb it as my own, and pretty soon, I’m like Mira trying to find her lost brother.

As a client, all you need to hook me is interest and personality. And possibly spiky purple hair. I could never resist good Manga.

 

Posted on by crystal · 6 Comments

A how-to guide on how-to guides

I spent most of today on Dosh Dosh, a blog on internet marketting. It has lots of useful guidelines, but the best part is … it’s filled with Manga. Yes, I am partly Otaku.

The thing with sites like this is they can be a little … scary. I’m sure the word I’m looking for is intimidating, but I will stick with scary.

Working online isn’t anything new, and lots of people have done it before me. So it makes sense to borrow their wisdom and not make the same mistakes. But when you read a post like this, well, it’s overwhelming!

The post gives 50 very specific things that you should not do while blogging. Some of them are standard, like

Don’t use tiny fonts.

Others are finicky, like…

Don’t use page titles with ‘The’.

Some seem sensibly obvious, like…

Remove the homepage link; it’s confusing.

or even

Blog links should say where they go.

I’d never have thought of that.

But some of the tips are things you do naturally, almost without thinking, like changing the colour of visited links, which I think is automatic.

When you read a post like that, you can use the formula to create a perfect, working website, but then it feels contrived. Maybe it’s because I’m an artist. I’d prefer to be given a block of wood and a chisel and told to carve a goat than be given a mould and liquid metal.

Not that I can do anything with visual art … I’m strictly a wordsmith. Couldn’t draw to save my last five cent coin.

I always fall back on Ken Follet. He’s written hundreds[?] of novels that are all pedge-of-seat-page-turners. You start the book and you can’t put it down because he’s used all the classic plot tricks: start with action, end each chapter with a cliffhanger, introduce one character at a time, and blah and blah and blah. And because he’s used the formula so well, you read his books in record time.

But when you get to the end of the book, you’re thinking, ‘So now?’ It leaves you with a void, which many people fill by buying another book. Which is great, because that way, he makes more money.

For me, it isn’t quite enough because I find his books hollow. There’s lots of content, high interaction, the story is gripping … there’s even a moral. But there’s very little soul. And I like soul.

That’s what you get when you follow a how-to guide: beautiful content, but very little context.

Sometimes, there’s merit in doing things the hard way, stumbling along, making mistakes like everyone else, using the same old clichés … and telling your story from your own perspective. After all, two people can eat a banana, but when they talk about it, it won’t sound the same. Writing is like that, and so is life.

How-to guides have their place. They’re a pretty nifty shortcut to good work, and I like shortcuts. But I like to make my own rules too … even if they end up being the same as everybody else’s. It’s cool when you do something your way, then hear expert advice which proves you were right all along. You won’t feel quite as confident if you got the advice before you used it.

When my baby was learning how to walk, she would hold on to tables and chairs for support. But one day I noticed that she’d sneak behind the sofa, run a full stretch unaided, then come back to the front and hold chairs the chairs to walk. It was almost like she didn’t want us to see how good she was. That way, she could one day surprise by learning to walk ‘overnight’.

I realise I’m using adult psychology on the games of a 1 year old child, but I can’t help thinking that she was a lot smarter than the rest of us. After all, when we bought her squeaky shoes so we would always know where she was, she learnt to move on tiptoe so we wouldn’t hear the shoes squeak.

How-to’s teach us skills overnight. They’re the ultimate shortcut. But sometimes the best way to learn how to walk is to put one foot in front of the other and move.

Speaking of shortcuts, here’s a pretty good one for you. Instead of doing all your word-work on your own, you could simply hire me. I’m pretty good at it, and I  rarely disappoint…