Don’t touch my car!

There’s one clear sign that a woman is cheating; she changes her hair or her wardrobe. Of course, it could also be a sign of mental aging, reality TV, or a free make-over.

But I don’t know what it means when a girl changes her car.

In my case, I’ve done all three, so I don’t know what the sign readers are thinking. I cut my hair, dyed it purple,  and now I’m revamping my clothes.

I want something a little closer to six-inch in the shoe department … as soon as I can learn to run in them, of course. I’m an over-achiever, so it won’t be enough to just walk. I’m also looking to skirt a little more … preferably short and flirty.

But most important, it’s bye-bye baby…

This beauty has served me well, even though she existed only in my mind. She’s all natural, so no car sickness from her unmodified interiors. She makes me artsy and eccentric, as all beetles do. Plus, she’s highly unlikely to be carjacked.

She’s kind on my pocket, initially. Even if she’s well pimped, she’d cost me 300,000 at best. That’s a pretty affordable dream car, and I like when dreams come true.

She’s not the best starter – I hear – because she’s very high maintenance, and also because she often breaks down in the middle of traffic. She needs first class service, this girl.

Now … **drums please** … this is what I’m changing to. Hellooooo00 Nurse!

Isn’t he a beauty?! I shall name him Red. Or Sasha. Or maybe both.

I have heard that he may be just eye candy, and the guys at Top Gear are unimpressed, but I don’t mind. I’m perfectly okay with pretty. He’s fast, he’s red, he’s big … and he’s a Bimmer. That’s more than this girl can ask for.

X6 is my new dream car, and it says a whole lot about me. For one thing, I’m a lot less conservative now. I’ve gone up to flashy from docile, from purple haired tomboy to stylish sophisticate.

My beetle is cute, distinctive, quirky … and her rear’s on the wrong end. My Sasha sails like a dream, soundless and swift, and he clearly leaves a mark. Also, it helps that he’s a boy.

It’s an interesting contrast, because as a V-dub, I’d be solid, dependable … but still loud. You’d always know where I am, and I totally make an entrance. As a Bimmer, I’m just as easily noticed – maybe more. You’d stare at an X6 before an old beetle, though you’re likely to whistle at both.

But the stealth level is in the Bimmer is higher … and I have tinted windows. Plus, people would pet a V-dub before they went groping a Bimmer. Bimmers are just more intimidating somehow. Taller too.

With a V-dub, you see, you hear, but you don’t long to touch. With X6, you might see, you don’t hear, but you don’t dare to scratch. So I’ve become more and less accessible all at the same time. Interesting.

Also, as a Bimmer, I have a polished look, which translates to professionalism.

Of course, the Bimmer uses more fuel, and costs over ten times more than the V-dub. So the value of my wallet’s gone up … or down … depending on how you look at it.

So what does this mean for 3CB?

For one thing, I need to earn more. Don’t worry, I won’t charge you extra. I might take on more projects, widen my scope a little, and be a lot more daring, but the price is always right.

Why not take my writing for a test drive? You know you want to…