My journey through The Secret

I got into The Secret about a year ago. I had just read Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch, and was toying with the idea of chakras, accupressure, and yoga. I even started the root chakra humming meditation thing, but I kept daydreaming , and I’m too unfit for lotus.

[Accupressure is just like accupuncture, except you use pencil erasers instead of needles.]

I was discussing it with a pal who said:

‘I’ll tell you something, but only if you promise to shut up .’ I didn’t really understand what he meant.

[Turns out he finds The Secret blasphemous, and went nearly senile when I wouldn’t stop talking about it. So much for following instructions.]

I spent a whole morning looking for the PDF online, and even sent a friend to get one from the local bookstore. It cost Tsh 25,000, but I paid it gladly. I then sat down and read it cover to cover.

At the time, I was into curly hair, green eyes, and soul mates, so I made that my first project. Two weeks later, I had a date. I took this boy out for soda and Morocco burgers. He had curly hair and beautiful green eyes, and he completely confused me for about two weeks.

I’d known the guy online for a while, but the pictures didn’t clearly show eye colour, and he always wore a baseball cap so I couldn’t see the hair. It was so cool to see The Secret in action.

Green Eyes wasn’t the right guy for me, but he still felt awesome to manifest. And a few weeks after that, I hooked up with the love of my life. I had known him and adored him for years, but we cloaked it as friendship, and I’m glad we finally took ourselves out of the closet. He makes me so happy that I cry sometimes, and every time I think of him, I smile.

I made a Gratitude list last November, as part of my Secret Journey. The book says to start a sentence with:

‘I am so happy and grateful now that…’

You complete the sentence with all the things you desire – dream car, dream house, soul mate, everything. Then you believe you have received the items on your list, imagine yourself having them, visualize yourself enjoying them.

Some weeks back, there was a guy at Maendeleo House selling ‘Free’ Audio bibles with the purchase of any DVD, so I bought The Secret. I watched it three times, then wrote a new Secret list. It has 5 items.

I dug out my old notebooks to see my original Gratitude list. That one had 15 items. As I read through the list, I noticed that the Top 5 had come true! Sweet!!

In the past few weeks, I’ve been thinking of getting a good watch. I’ve been operating on 100 bob timepieces that die after a month, so I wanted something to last a little longer. Last week my mum sent me a package that had two watches – one for me, and one for princess. Yay!

We switched. I gave her the pricey digital one and kept the cheap clockface with an shiny ornamental strap, because I’ve also been shopping for charm bracelets. When I went to a watch shop to get  battery, they all commented on how unusual my watch was. Apparently, it’s not as cheap as I thought. Double yay!!

I’ve also been thinking of getting a nice set of headphones like the DR brothers. Yesterday, my little brother brought me that exact pair! Granted it’s made in China and is clearly a knock-off, but it looks just like iCon’s! Baby brother wondered why I wouldn’t stop squealing.

I recently upgraded my dream car to a Burgundy X6, and I have a very clear idea about my dream house. It’s a 25th floor penthouse with attic-style roofing, a master suite jacuzzi, and a heated pool. As far as I know, they don’t make such buildings in Nairobi, but I Secreted it none the less. Yesterday afternoon, a link on twitter led me to this.

Can you say  yay?! It isn’t quite my dream home, but it’s a good start, and I totally did my spazzy dance. You know, the weird one from The Ugly Truth?

I still have five items on my list, and big dreams to fulfill. But I’m not afraid, because I know love and The Secret will get me there.

PS: Rhonda Byrne has a new book out called The Power. I’ve tried reading it, but it’s a harder to get through than The Secret. It’s a lot prettier though.

PS2: The Secret is actually a conc-sounding name for The Law of Attraction, which is a roundabout way of harvesting kharma. It’s difficult to accept, but it works, and I’m happy, so yay!

Hot Avril Lavigne

Don’t touch my car!

There’s one clear sign that a woman is cheating; she changes her hair or her wardrobe. Of course, it could also be a sign of mental aging, reality TV, or a free make-over.

But I don’t know what it means when a girl changes her car.

In my case, I’ve done all three, so I don’t know what the sign readers are thinking. I cut my hair, dyed it purple,  and now I’m revamping my clothes.

I want something a little closer to six-inch in the shoe department … as soon as I can learn to run in them, of course. I’m an over-achiever, so it won’t be enough to just walk. I’m also looking to skirt a little more … preferably short and flirty.

But most important, it’s bye-bye baby…

This beauty has served me well, even though she existed only in my mind. She’s all natural, so no car sickness from her unmodified interiors. She makes me artsy and eccentric, as all beetles do. Plus, she’s highly unlikely to be carjacked.

She’s kind on my pocket, initially. Even if she’s well pimped, she’d cost me 300,000 at best. That’s a pretty affordable dream car, and I like when dreams come true.

She’s not the best starter – I hear – because she’s very high maintenance, and also because she often breaks down in the middle of traffic. She needs first class service, this girl.

Now … **drums please** … this is what I’m changing to. Hellooooo00 Nurse!

Isn’t he a beauty?! I shall name him Red. Or Sasha. Or maybe both.

I have heard that he may be just eye candy, and the guys at Top Gear are unimpressed, but I don’t mind. I’m perfectly okay with pretty. He’s fast, he’s red, he’s big … and he’s a Bimmer. That’s more than this girl can ask for.

X6 is my new dream car, and it says a whole lot about me. For one thing, I’m a lot less conservative now. I’ve gone up to flashy from docile, from purple haired tomboy to stylish sophisticate.

My beetle is cute, distinctive, quirky … and her rear’s on the wrong end. My Sasha sails like a dream, soundless and swift, and he clearly leaves a mark. Also, it helps that he’s a boy.

It’s an interesting contrast, because as a V-dub, I’d be solid, dependable … but still loud. You’d always know where I am, and I totally make an entrance. As a Bimmer, I’m just as easily noticed – maybe more. You’d stare at an X6 before an old beetle, though you’re likely to whistle at both.

But the stealth level is in the Bimmer is higher … and I have tinted windows. Plus, people would pet a V-dub before they went groping a Bimmer. Bimmers are just more intimidating somehow. Taller too.

With a V-dub, you see, you hear, but you don’t long to touch. With X6, you might see, you don’t hear, but you don’t dare to scratch. So I’ve become more and less accessible all at the same time. Interesting.

Also, as a Bimmer, I have a polished look, which translates to professionalism.

Of course, the Bimmer uses more fuel, and costs over ten times more than the V-dub. So the value of my wallet’s gone up … or down … depending on how you look at it.

So what does this mean for 3CB?

For one thing, I need to earn more. Don’t worry, I won’t charge you extra. I might take on more projects, widen my scope a little, and be a lot more daring, but the price is always right.

Why not take my writing for a test drive? You know you want to…