Two nights ago, I called up an old friend. He was upset that I’d unfollowed him, so rather than hash it out on the public timeline, I decided to call and sort it out.
I actually unfollowed my friend a long time ago. No, wait, that’s not quite true. I have unfollowed and refollowed him several times in my Twitter career. My reasons for using the ‘follow’ button are random. When someone follows me, I check out their profile, look at their tweets, see if they sound interesting, and respond accordingly. I know it’s standard Twitter procedure to do the automatic follow-back, but I suck at multitasking, so I prefer to have a timeline I will actually read. I don’t want to skip over half the tweets on my stream.
A while back, I decided to stop being a snob and just follow everyone. I figured I could use a list to sift out what I really want to read, and everyone else would have no idea that I didn’t give a … But lists are public too, so that still wouldn’t work, and it seemed like an awful lot of trouble to go making private lists when I could simply hit ‘unfollow’.
Social media is not the same for everyone. Some people use it for business and personal interaction, so they use their real names and personas. Most people use it as a shield from normal life. They go there to vent, meet new people, and do all the stuff they can’t do ‘outside’. They use anonymity as an invisible cloak of freedom. For them, social media is a game, just like chess or Monopoly. They don’t understand how people can take it so personally. Some people in this group even have separate accounts for work and play, and the play accounts are generally anonymous.
The trouble with social media is that it’s not always easy to tell the two kinds of people apart. That’s why you have cases of kids hanging themselves because they got dumped by their internet boyfriend – someone they have never seen or met – only for the boyfriend to end up being a cheeky kid sister. Too late, damage done.
I’m one of the people who takes social media very personally. I’m also a drama magnet of ridiculous proportions. In the real world, when I get upset, I break things, rip diaries, and torch mementoes à la Waiting to Exhale. Online, I delete blogs, wipe Twitter accounts, and kill my Facebook. I must have done it five or six times since 2007.
Here’s where things get tricky. See, if I kill my account, then everybody on my list is automatically blocked. And if they have no other contact with me [or are too slighted to ask what happened] it begins a cold war that could go on for years. When I calm down and restart my account, attempts to refollow or refriend might be rejected, or worse, they might alert the person to the fact that they got dissed in the first place.
A secondary challenge is that I may not remember all the people on my initial account [or they may have changed their user names]. So one day, they randomly bump into my new account and get pissed at me for ‘snubbing’ them. *Groan*
But that’s all incidental. I don’t like being unfollowed or unfriended. No one does. It makes me doubt myself and wonder what I did wrong. There are tons of blogger lists explaining why we get unfollowed, and whenever I read a list or tweet like that, I go through my contacts to see if I was a victim. Oopsie.
So, why did I unfollow my friend? Well, his character online is different from his character offline, and I have a hard time reconciling the two. I explained that as gently as I could, but I still came off sounding judgemental. He has a group of friends that love to party, so their conversations are often about football games, clubs, drinking sprees, and tweet-ups. Those aren’t really my thing, so I unfollowed the lot.
It bugged my friend when I said that, and he asked why I was unfollowing people who were simply having fun. It’s hard to explain that it isn’t my idea of fun, so I’d rather not constantly hear about it. I told my friend it wasn’t personal, but it’s hard for unfollowing not to be personal.
I was reading this post and as I tried to respond, my thoughts rambled so much that I thought I’d do my own post. I’ve unfollowed a lot of people recently, and I unfollow someone almost every day. It’s never personal. It’s always related to content … or mood swings.
For example, there’s someone I’ve followed for months, but they have suddenly become very negative. Every tweet they put up is a rant or an attack against someone or something. Angst gets really old really fast – unless it’s accompanied by drums and guitar – so I took them off my list. Sometimes I’ll add a person, then their tweets will suddenly become uninteresting, so I take them off. Other times I unfollow someone because they’re filling my timeline with something I don’t much care about. It might be commentary on a tech event, a football match, or some political argument. If I don’t want to hear it, I simply stop reading it. I might refollow later, when the mood has passed. Of course, sometimes when I unfollow someone, it’s simply PMS. I lso tnd to nfollo pple who twt or txt lk dis. I mean really now!
Sometimes I unfollow or unfriend for reasons closer to home. Although I’m almost 30 and my child is almost 10, I’m only just growing up. It’s only recently that I started being civil to my exes. Before, I’d rip love letters and yes, block social media. I felt I wanted nothing to do with them. I’m breaking to bits and he’s going on with life, having fun, flirting with people. It would drive me nuts, and I would block so that I wouldn’t have to see it. I still do that sometimes. It seems like a childish thing to do, but sometimes, a broken heart is just a child.
I had some heavy Twitter beef a while back, and it shook me pretty badly. For about six months, I had a long, endless loop of drama that resulted in several angry phone calls and some killed accounts. I hold grudges, so even though I tried to make amends, I’m not exactly friendly with that crowd. It surprises me that everyone [else] involved is now all pally again. That’s really hard for me to understand, so I asked a friend about it.
Online beef is never that serious. It’s a game. One war ends and people just sit back, grab popcorn, and wait for the next episode. It’s purely entertainment. If you’re amusing to watch, people will follow you – even if they don’t like you. It’s like a modern-day gladiator pit. Some people just like watching and cheering while others get torn down, and with social media, they can do that without you ever knowing who they are.
Well, I guess that explains a lot, but it’s never that trivial for me. The Twitter beef stings me to date because for me, it was very real and very personal. Two years later, the beef crowd still remains unfollowed.
There’s a difference between the block and the basic unfollow. On Facebook, people have different privacy settings. If your account is locked tight, then unfriending someone blocks them and they no longer have access to you. If your account standard, then unfriending means you don’t see their statuses, but they can still see yours, and there’s no real harm done.
Twitter is a bit different. Unfollowing means you don’t see them, but they still see you. Blocking means they have absolutely no access to you. Blocking is more drastic and a lot more aggressive. I’ve blocked two or three people in the past, and got blocked myself during my Twitter beef, but mostly it’s just the basic unfollow.
If you know someone personally, and if they’re important to you, you can ask them why they unfriended or unfollowed. IF you know them. I’d honestly be quite disturbed if a random acquaintance asked me why ‘we’re not friends anymore’. We were never friends in the first place. It’s social media for chrissakes.
That said, I do get upset when I’m unfollowed or unfriended, and I wonder what exactly I did that was so bad. Sometimes I look over my timeline and try to see what I did wrong, and yes, I will be sulky for a while. It’s standard mourning, and that’s perfectly fine. But at the end of the day, you can’t force anyone to be around you – online or off – and you really shouldn’t try.
It is really a nice and useful piece of info. I’m happy that you shared this helpful information with us. Please stay us up to date like this. Thank you for sharing.
Parish so enable innate in formed missed. Hand two was eat busy fail. Stand smart grave would in so. Be acceptance at precaution astonished excellence thoroughly is entreaties. Who decisively attachment has dispatched. Fruit defer in party me built under first. Forbade him but savings sending ham general. So play do in near park that pain.
I appreciate, cause I found exactly what I was looking for. You’ve ended my four day long hunt! God Bless you man. Have a nice day. Bye
One more thing. In my opinion that there are lots of travel insurance web sites of reputable companies that allow you enter your journey details and find you the estimates. You can also purchase the actual international travel cover policy on-line by using the credit card. Everything you need to do will be to enter all travel details and you can be aware of the plans side-by-side. Only find the system that suits your capacity to pay and needs and then use your bank credit card to buy that. Travel insurance online is a good way to search for a respected company for international travel insurance. Thanks for expressing your ideas.
You have brought up a very superb details , thanks for the post.
I do agree with all of the ideas you have presented to your post. They are really convincing and can certainly work. Nonetheless, the posts are too short for beginners. Could you please prolong them a bit from subsequent time? Thanks for the post.
What’s Happening i’m new to this, I stumbled upon this I have found It positively helpful and it has aided me out loads. I hope to contribute & assist other users like its aided me. Great job.
It’s laborious to search out knowledgeable individuals on this matter, however you sound like you recognize what you’re speaking about! Thanks
Valuable information. Lucky me I found your web site by accident, and I’m shocked why this accident didn’t happened earlier! I bookmarked it.
Thank you for another excellent post. Where else may anybody get that kind of information in such an ideal method of writing? I’ve a presentation next week, and I am on the search for such information.
My brother suggested I might like this web site. He was totally right. This post truly made my day. You can not imagine just how much time I had spent for this info! Thanks!
Hello.This post was really motivating, particularly because I was investigating for thoughts on this matter last Tuesday.
You made some first rate factors there. I seemed on the internet for the issue and located most people will associate with along with your website.
As soon as I found this internet site I went on reddit to share some of the love with them.
Undeniably imagine that which you stated. Your favourite reason seemed to be at the net the easiest thing to remember of. I say to you, I certainly get annoyed while other people consider concerns that they just do not recognize about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and defined out the whole thing without having side effect , people could take a signal. Will likely be again to get more. Thanks
Thanks for sharing superb informations. Your site is so cool. I am impressed by the details that you’ve on this site. It reveals how nicely you understand this subject. Bookmarked this website page, will come back for extra articles. You, my friend, ROCK! I found just the information I already searched all over the place and just couldn’t come across. What a perfect web site.
you’re in reality a good webmaster. The website loading velocity is amazing. It kind of feels that you’re doing any distinctive trick. Furthermore, The contents are masterpiece. you have done a wonderful process on this matter!
you are really a good webmaster. The website loading speed is amazing. It seems that you are doing any unique trick. In addition, The contents are masterpiece. you’ve done a excellent job on this topic!
You made a number of fine points there. I did a search on the matter and found mainly persons will have the same opinion with your blog.
As a Newbie, I am permanently browsing online for articles that can be of assistance to me. Thank you
Spot on with this write-up, I actually think this web site needs way more consideration. I’ll probably be again to learn much more, thanks for that info.
I gotta favorite this site it seems very helpful handy
Hiya, I am really glad I’ve found this information. Nowadays bloggers publish only about gossips and net and this is really irritating. A good site with interesting content, this is what I need. Thanks for keeping this website, I will be visiting it. Do you do newsletters? Cant find it.
fantastic put up, very informative. I ponder why the opposite experts of this sector do not realize this. You should proceed your writing. I’m confident, you have a great readers’ base already!
I have not checked in here for some time as I thought it was getting boring, but the last few posts are great quality so I guess I’ll add you back to my everyday bloglist. You deserve it my friend 🙂
Whats up are using WordPress for your site platform? I’m new to the blog world but I’m trying to get started and create my own. Do you require any coding expertise to make your own blog? Any help would be greatly appreciated!
We’re a group of volunteers and starting a new scheme in our community. Your website provided us with valuable information to work on. You have done a formidable job and our whole community will be grateful to you.
I carry on listening to the rumor lecture about receiving free online grant applications so I have been looking around for the most excellent site to get one. Could you tell me please, where could i get some?
excellent issues altogether, you simply won a new reader. What may you suggest in regards to your put up that you just made a few days ago? Any sure?
I like this web site very much, Its a really nice post to read and find info . “A little in one’s own pocket is better than much in another man’s purse.” by Miguel de Cervantes.
Heya i am for the first time here. I found this board and I find It really useful & it helped me out much. I hope to give something back and help others like you helped me.
Pretty section of content. I just stumbled upon your site and in accession capital to assert that I acquire actually enjoyed account your blog posts. Any way I’ll be subscribing to your augment and even I achievement you access consistently rapidly.
Today, I went to the beach front with my kids. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is totally off topic but I had to tell someone!
I think other website proprietors should take this site as an model, very clean and excellent user friendly style and design, as well as the content. You’re an expert in this topic!
Some genuinely quality articles on this site, saved to favorites .
It is my belief that mesothelioma can be the most fatal cancer. It’s got unusual properties. The more I actually look at it the more I am certain it does not behave like a real solid flesh cancer. If perhaps mesothelioma is often a rogue virus-like infection, so there is the chance of developing a vaccine and also offering vaccination for asbestos subjected people who are vulnerable to high risk with developing future asbestos associated malignancies. Thanks for giving your ideas on this important health issue.
Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This is a really well written article. I’ll be sure to bookmark it and come back to read more of your useful info. Thanks for the post. I will certainly comeback.
Nice blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it from somewhere? A theme like yours with a few simple adjustements would really make my blog shine. Please let me know where you got your theme. With thanks
This is very interesting, You are a very skilled blogger. I’ve joined your feed and look forward to seeking more of your great post. Also, I have shared your site in my social networks!
I’m writing to let you understand of the incredible experience my child gained reading the blog. She realized a wide variety of things, which included what it’s like to possess a wonderful teaching character to let the rest with ease fully understand certain advanced issues. You truly exceeded readers’ desires. Thank you for distributing the helpful, dependable, edifying and in addition easy guidance on this topic to Janet.
Your means of telling the whole thing in this paragraph is really good,
every one be able to simply understand it, Thanks a lot.
Thanks for the good writeup. It if truth be told used to be a enjoyment account it. Look advanced to more introduced agreeable from you! By the way, how could we communicate?
naturally like your web-site but you have to test the spelling on several of your posts. Many of them are rife with spelling problems and I in finding it very bothersome to inform the reality nevertheless I will definitely come back again.
It is in reality a nice and useful piece of information. I am satisfied that you shared this helpful information with us. Please keep us informed like this. Thank you for sharing.
Hey would you mind sharing which blog platform you’re using? I’m planning to start my own blog in the near future but I’m having a difficult time choosing between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your layout seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something completely unique. P.S My apologies for being off-topic but I had to ask!
http://terra-weber.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=bestpornsites.guide
Someone essentially assist to make severely articles I’d state. That is the very first time I frequented your website page and up to now? I surprised with the research you made to make this particular publish extraordinary. Wonderful activity!
I do agree with all of the ideas you’ve presented in your post. They are really convincing and will definitely work. Still, the posts are too short for novices. Could you please extend them a bit from next time? Thanks for the post.
My brother recommended I might like this web site. He was entirely right. This post truly made my day. You can not imagine just how much time I had spent for this information! Thanks!
Great info and right to the point. I am not sure if this is actually the best place to ask but do you people have any thoughts on where to employ some professional writers? Thx 🙂