My thoughts tend to run around in my head, really really fast. Sometimes I can barely keep track of them, but somehow, I do. When I’m sober. I actually make a very annoying drunk, coz I just go on and on and on rambling out my random thoughts at 73 words per second. It bugs me no end, and is the main reason I don’t drink.
One time I did get drunk, and rambled on and on and on … and saw some multi-coloured beer bottles doing a cabaret dance [fun!] and threw a tantrum and saw some stranger squeeze my knee while my date squeezed someone else … wah … I don’t want to do that again!! The dancing bottles were fun though … But I digress.
I like things like chat and twitter. They allow me to jot down a few of the random thoughts as the sprint by, leaving space for the less random ones to actually get some work done.
So on days like today, when I decide that I have too much work, and I consequently put off my chat clients and tweets, well, I end up being rather confused and not getting very much done. I also end up thinking a lot … well okay, a lot more than usual. So today, I was thinking … but that’s another story.
See why I need my twitter?
Anyway. I had a point. I’ve been listening to American Hi-Fi. They have this really old song called ‘Flavour of the Week’. It’s about this girl who’s living with a boy who really doesn’t like her. The lyrics explain how she’s painting her nails while he’s chatting up her best friend, or how she’s dressed to kill and he doesn’t notice coz he’s zoned out on TV, or how he has posters of all the girls he wishes she was dating … it would actually be a rather depressing song if it wasn’t for the killer drums and guitars.
I always liked this song for some reason. Now I like it more than ever because I’ve been that girl. I was with someone who constantly wished I was someone else, and by the end of it, I didn’t like myself very much.
Listening to this song today, I realised what a lot of people told me all along, including him. He would actually dare me to leave him, saying if I thought I deserved better, I should go look for it. That’s when he was high. Other times it was more of a plea than a dare. I think he actually wanted me to leave him.
The thing is I really can do better. Sometimes you stay with someone because you think you don’t deserve better. And no matter how many times people say you do, you can’t really believe it.
There are sooooo many songs about some person seeing a super girl/boy being mistreated by their S/O and saying ‘Oh let me treat you better, dump the idiot.’ They range from Jesse Mcartney’s ‘leaving’ to that pretty Latino boy’s ‘gallery’. I had lots of guys tell me I deserved better, but I didn’t want to listen. I figured it was just boys trying to slice.
For some reason, listening to that song today it came alive for me. I can do better, and I will. Never ever ever ever EVER peg your esteem on someone else. He may think you’re unpretty, she may think you’re a dork, but there are a million [well at least 5 anyway] other people out there who think you’re amazing, and one of them should be you!!
I’m not saying we should ignore all criticism, we all have our faults, and we should work to overcome them. We all have haters, and even likers who don’t enjoy all our traits. Even the sweetest person in the world has someone who detests them for being too nice – and his name rhymes with mouse. **grin**
But don’t waste your time being around someone who doesn’t like you. Go out, learn to like yourself, and you’d be surprised how many people out there think you’re the flavour of the week.
I’m really glad I finally found that out.
PS: Anna Nalick, In the rough. Yay!! I had no idea I had that in here!!