Posted on by crystal · 1 Comment

Que'est-ce que c'est?

Or as Hugo would say:

Ma Victor, what is it that it is that is it?

That’s what I think anyway!

Disclaimer : This here has banned me from incomprehensible incontextual tweets, and this other one refutes similar facebook status updates, but nobody said anything about blog posts *cheeky grin*

Alors [clearly, I aim to exhaust my French vocabulary today] is it possible for two people to do … or say … the exact same thing and have completely different meanings?

Take this in the context of a typical CB-uation, where I analyse everything from the air you breathe to the angle of your nose when taking said breath.

Now, I know two people can go into the same Nakumatt with the same stated aim of buying Omo and end up with two different soaps – powerfoam and new blue omo with powerfoam extra to the power of ten  herbal…

I don’t mean that.

I mean two guys standing at a stop sign staring at the green light and … wait bad example.

I mean like when two boys say ‘let’s just be friends’, and one means ‘Really, let’s be friends’, while the other one means ‘girl, will you please stop stalking me?!’ That type of thing.

Is that possible?

This would make a lot more sense given in context **puzzled frown**

Okay, supposing two guys give you a flower.

A yellow rose.

Folklorically, [no, that’s not a real word] yellow roses mean ‘let’s just be friends’. In the Dolly Parton song [yes, I admit, i know an annoyingly unhealthy number of Dolly Parton songs] the dude gave her a yellow rose the day he met her, the day he left her, and pretty much every day inbetween. Could mean she liked yellow. Could mean he liked yellow. Could also mean he was yellow. Or maybe yellow-yellow … oh never mind.

So, is it possible that one guy’s yellows rose means he digs you while another guy’s yellow rose means he dumped you?

Example two, chocolate. A boy gives you chocolate because he likes you, right? Or because his dad works at the chocolate factory and he likes you, right? Or because he’s lactose intolerant … and he likes you, right? Right? Or because he just really hates chocolate and he likes you, right?

So … chocolate = he likes you, right?

Or … a girl calls you because she has airtime, yes? Or because there’s an offer or free calls from zain to zain, so she has airtime, yes? Or because she has an urgent message for you and she has airtime, yes? Or because her boss told her to call you and she has airtime, yes?

So … a girl calling you means she has airtime, yes?

No, I still can’t find a way to put it in context **more puzzled frowns**

Oh well. I’ll be back…

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Posted on by crystal · 6 Comments

4 twighaps and a fu … facial: A rant in four parts

Firstly, yes, I love Hugh Grant. It’s the hair. And the little-boy-lost look. But mostly, it’s the hair.

Secondly, all ye who … well … this could take a while.

Thirdly, this is not going to make a lot of sense so … yeah.

So. It is no secret that I am now into the secret. Yes, I know, a lot of people think it’s silly crazy hoopla, but it works. Really. At least, it works for me. Sometimes it works so well that it’s scary.

I have, since reading the book, manifested a dress, green eyes, and 2012.

Yes, I realise that sounds *slightly* insane, so I shall move along swiftly to less loopy matters. Bear with me, I am going somewhere with this. Though in all honesty, I don’t know where that is yet.

Incidentally, they say ‘tell me what a man [or woman] laughs at and I will tell you who he/she is.’ There’s a rather nasty joke going round twitter. Something about Chinese phones. It’s really mean … but it’s also really funny. Almost as funny as – don’t kanye me. So, I wonder what that says about me. Hm.

Oh ok, four twighaps and a facial. A twighap is not something connected to twitter. It’s something connected to a twigget. Or rather to my desire to be a twigget.

A twigget, btw, is anybody who works with computers. I picked the term off K2. I have a fetish for twiggets generally, though I have particular issues with one particular twigget, whom I have **cough*cough*affectionately*cough** named … Twiggy.

So, back to my twighaps. They’re actually a lot more than three, but the key ones for today are three. So I shall perhaps name the sub-haps a,b,c … or 1,2,3 … or maybe αβγ?

For more information on 3CB, click here.

Posted on by crystal

Twighap number αlpha

So Sasha Black got sick. I went galivanting on Limewire and grabbed a few Worms while I was there. Squiggly little things. As a result, I had to format Sasha. But the CD that I have was missing two files: shell sth sth and RM. Cast. No, it’s not a conscious pun; it’s pretty good though.

Anyway, thanks to the missing files, installation couldn’t be completed. Since I have no friends here and Twiggy blew me off twice, I asked K1 to mail me a CD from Nairobi. He did, but the couriers lost it, denied losing it, talked mbaya, put off their phones, and eventually found my CD … 7 days later.

So I formatted. Initiated password and … forgot password. So I formatted again. Then I got on Limewire to find my Ally Mcbeal soundtrack and … heard the familiar neighing sound. So I formatted again. And this time I went hunting in torrent but … wait, that’s the next twighap. This one at ends at 3.00 a.m after formatting three times, then accidentally losing my itunes and…

Twighap number β: How I lost my itunes

It was a dark and stormy night and Little CB was walking drowsily in twitterland, typing in her sleep and trying to install lost programmes. Suddenly, she stumbled on a folder called Realplayer. It was really pretty with this great big S on it’s shirt, just like Superman. She tapped it. Nothing happened. So she tapped it twice.

This realplayer wasn’t a realplayer at all, it was a Storm Codec. A very mean one at that. The Storm Codec promptly messed with her Itunes 9 by downgrading Quicktime to a 6. CB didn’t realise this, and wondered why her Itunes gave an error message every time she turned it on.

Eventually, after 7 different install-uninstall sagas, she realised her mistake and decided to uninstall the Storm. But alas, it was not over, for the Storm took with it Quicktime, and now Itunes wouldn’t work at all. So Little CB went hunting for another Quicktime, or at least for another Itunes. But the net was too slow and the Apples on the page had nothing but pips and cores. Kinda like a webpage that’s pure html…text.

Several hours later, little CB is downloading Itunes 9 and Quicktime on the same slow connection. It has been two hours. Progress is at 62.3%…

For more information on 3CB, click here.