It’s been an interesting weekend. I’ve had some highs and lots of lows, and I’ve found something I thought I’d lost.
They say many people don’t know what love is. I’m not sure that I do either. But I know it feels beautiful to love, and to be loved.
I have been told, again, not to take myself so seriously. Indeed, not to take anything so seriously, and for some reason, the telling has made me feel very liberated.
I realise that I can’t control my child, I have to just let her be. But I also see that I should not be angry when she tries to control me.
I realise that I can’t run everything – actually, I can’t rule anything except my reactions, thoughts and feelings, which, ironically, is the one thing I felt I had no say in.
I have learnt, finally, that just because I’m INFJ/Mel-choleric/Type 4 doesn’t mean I have to be so goth all the time. I can still be insightful and deep without looking like my face was etched in a frown. I can criticise and analyse without drowning in the dark side. It’s not going to be easy, but nothing worthy ever is. And after all, Yoda is so much cuter that Darth Vader.
I accept that when someone offers me favours because of my looks, I don’t have to accept, but I also don’t have to be mad about it. Because in their own warped way, they were giving a compliment.
I cede that people have a right to like me or not to like me, and I have no business asking them how or why. Each to his own, different strokes, and even silver spoons **cheeky grin**
In the arms of my love, as he held me while I cried, I have found peace. And he showed me, as he often does, that the peace wasn’t in him but in me. All he did was find it, tease it, and call it out.
My dearest, darling love, it’s a joy to love you, and an honour to be loved by you. Amen.
♫ Ben Jelen ♫ Come on ♫