There are lots of ways I could tell this story. I could go with the crazy bus trip which involved getting stuck in the mud, spending the night in the middle of nowhere, meeting 4 shy nuns and a rude bus driver, losing my luggage [on a bus?!] and getting charged 100,000 [still on a bus].

Or I could focus on getting a pretty one bedroomed flat for 15K with no safcom network, and then, just days after signing the lease, seeing a second flat a few doors away – for 16K – with an extra bedroom.

I could go on and on about how I’ve changed a phone number that I’ve had for the last ten years because I’m just too tired to play somebody’s silly games. You, yes you. You are not well. You need help. Please go away!

Or I could talk about how I have spent three months worth of savings in less than a week because the cost of living has gone up that much…

I’m home to stay, and I’m glad. But there are a lot of challenges ahead of me. I’m happy to be here, and I’m pumped to face whatever I will find. I’ve learnt some lessons already. Like no matter how much you save up, it’s never enough for the move back home. Like people will surprise you; the ones that I thought would be happy I’m back could care less, and the ones I thought wouldn’t notice are being such darlings about helping me out. Like floor cushions are overrated, and carpets are very, very important. Seriously!

Like the scenes in movies where people have gobs of fun furnishing their new houses are, well, scenes in movies! Like big little brothers are priceless, and family, even dysfunctional family, is the greatest blessing ever.

Like Masai market is open on Sundays, and has lots of pretty calabashes but no clay pots. Like it feels really good to finally be indifferent about the Ex. Like I am truly blessed to love a Sailor boy who loves me back, and my heart has never been gladder.

Like no matter how hard they try, nobody can steal my joy but me.

So I choose to tell this story from a funny note.

See, today, I cooked.

The whole time I was in Dar, my nanny did the cooking, and when she was off, we subsisted on noodles and take-away fries. And ever since I got home last week, I have conveniently showed up at my dad’s during mealtimes. It’s so cool to have family nearby.

But today, finally, I had to cook.

So. Ugali and sukuma wiki. Also, eggs.

Now, see, eggs cost 9 bob. I am still in trauma. And mboga comes pre-cut now. [I can also get pre-boiled githeri, yay!] I have a choice of plain sukuma or spinach mix. I chose spinach mix.

But … well … I forgot to ask how much mix there was in the spinach.


So by the time I was done cooking … well, I had this sufuria full of green porridge that, well, I haven’t tasted it yet, but it had princess grabbing the last pack of Maryland cookies and hanging on for dear life. Me, I hid in the bedroom with my laptop and sought solace online.

Le sigh.

Off to have a whiff of green sludge.

Happy New Year people. Spinach porridge notwithstanding, it’s good to be home.

Did I mention there’s no safaricom network in my house? Zain rules. Yu’s pretty good too. Arrivederci!

Welcome back Ma$e

9 thoughts on “Green sludge

  1. poor gal. who’s the other recipient of ur meal?

    **cheeky grin** he never disses my cooking; it’s one of the the coolest things about him

    …. welcome back home…but really? change number cos of someone? just bar them….its easy. happy new year.

  2. Hey girl, happy new year and welcome back home!

    Now you need to hook me up with these houses u’ve been looking at, are they in Nairobi? House hunting is the worst especially when one is choosy as I am.

    See me sideways

    I am waiting to hear about ur funny escapades in this green city in the sun.

  3. Eh, yeah i’m with Mama on the finding housing in Nairobi.
    Whatcha gonna do, it’s home! Sorry been watching an episode of Sopranos 😉 and nowhere does that word, ‘family’ matter more.
    Sopranos. . . and home.
    Welcome back

    Good to be back 🙂

  4. I say you need to keep turning up at your dad’s place during meal time until he susses you out and drop kicks you back to your apartment. That’s what they’re there for.


  5. I’m terrified of seeing a cheaper or better place than the one i’m moving to this weekend after i’ve already made all the payments.

    I’m still learning how to stop looking!

    and yes, 9 bob eggs still traumatise me and av been here forever. oh yeah, and apparently the kienyeji eggs are 12bob *eyes popping out*
    Karibu Kenya.

    Despite all that, I’m still really glad to be home 🙂

  6. Sometimes you just decide that everything that you cook is edible to save time and money. I once had a white sludge with uncooked potato and chicken stew. The power had gone off before the ugali was ready, I had no otherwise.

    And don’t discourage us saana about coming back home. Eggs cost Ksh. 9? Isn’t that cheap? Huku it is R1.50 equivalent to Ksh.15. Anyway, I will come see and experience to believe it.

    Hope you have finally got accustomed to Nairobi life, I hope I will take a shorter time to fit in, but for now those are just hopes.

    usijali, utapewa orientation ukifika 😉

  7. lol… you are a scream!!! lets just say at least the green sludge was health laden! lol

    PS: Where is that house with the extra room or the 15k one… i hae a pal desperately looking to move from her tiny cramped17k one…and wlcome to THE city child!

    Ona mimi sideways…

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