I don’t like to spend a lot on phones, mostly because I’m so good at not having them. If it’s not stolen, mugged, or borrowed, it’s falling in water or somehow getting donated. My system is to buy a low-cost phone, then I don’t feel the pinch when it goes missing. The priciest phone I ever bought was a 1680, and I gave up on it when the internet wouldn’t work. I suspect it’s Chinese, because the Nokia Handshake breaks in half.

A few weeks ago, my 1203 fell into water. Well actually, what happened is I put it in a juala with a borrowed plastic dish. I had just washed it [the dish, not the phone] and was taking it back to its owner. The water somehow got into the phone and the screen went blank. I dismantled it and dried out the parts. It seemed fine, but it kept dying half way through my phone calls and refusing to accept security codes.

A few days later, Princess was using it as a torch when it fell into some water in the bathroom. I’m not too sure which water exactly, because the lights were out, but I took it as a sign for a new handset. I settled for a Nokla 2700. There’s an authentic looking NOKIA on the faceplate, and the only way I know he’s not true Nokia is the box he came in *pointing up there*. Also, the writing on his back says ‘flashlight’, while Nokias … don’t. The plastic casing is different too.

Googling Nokia 2700 will also show you that in the original, the label goes above the screen, not below it. There’s no mention of FM on the faceplate, and the original Nokia camera is 2.0 MP, while mine claims a whopping 5.0. Also, Nokia doesn’t generally do twin sims. I don’t really mind, because he has all needed features: radio, internet, recording, and even memory slots.

The trouble started when I looked into the packaging. It uses a Nokia battery, but not a Nokia charger. The charger itself is shifty and you have to tweak it to make it work. The box had no instructions, and a few of the phone’s features don’t work. For example, the phone wouldn’t vibrate, and it had no status reports. There’s a setting in ‘Common’ where reports could be enabled, but for some reason, they didn’t work. Plus, the sound was too low.

Luckily, I bought it at my local M-pesa, so I could swiftly take it back. At first, they tried restoring factory settings and when that didn’t work, they replaced it for me. The new handset was fully functional, except for a few minor glitches. The sound on the radio can’t be adjusted, and it’s pretty low. You can’t use the internet because it has settings but no cache or inbuilt browser. There are four recording devices, but you can’t use them without a card for memory. Also, still no status reports.

I should explain beef with my status reports. See, I’m a known control freak, and I get really mad when people don’t reply my texts. In my circle, nobody replies texts. It just not done! So at least I can take comfort knowing the message has succeeded in reaching the person. Without status reports, I can’t even do that! The horror! Still, the phone’s vibrator works, and it really is gorgeous. I went to ask them to replace my charger, and to see if they could fix the status reports. The guy twiddled the phone and announced that it was working.

Here’s what happened. When you go into ‘Common’ there’s a box that says ‘Delivery reports’ and at the bottom of the box, it says ‘on’. When you click on the box, a red dot appears, and the bottom it says ‘off’. So, of course, I never bothered to click on the box. After all, it was already on, right?

So how did the man fix the status reports? Well, he clicked on the box. Apparently, when your phone is blue, a red dot is a good thing. Groan. [Yes, I know it would be easier with twitpiks, but I can’t figure how to put off the flash on the camera, so every time I try, all I get is this.]

So now I have my pretty phone with dual sim and status reports and an annoyingly soft X-Fm, but I’m happy. There’s just one problem. We whined so much about Safaricom that everyone went and bought themselves a Yu line. Zain got clientelle too, after their rates went down. So now suddenly, Yu is all congested and Safaricom rings like a bell. Friends have tried to reach me on all lines and only get through on M-pesa.

Yes, it’s a bank, not a phoneline. It lives in a zombie on the windowsill formerly known as Nokia 1203. Last week, I tried caling Kisumu on all my lines, and only got through via Saf. The only thing that hurts is my pride. Also, clarity aside Safaricom and Zain are only reachable on my windowsill, so once again, my house now has no network. *russumfussumfreeadvertising*

In other news, meet Pinkytoes. I’ve been hustling for new headphones for a while now, and finally got some spare change. I was given a 300 bob pair as a gift [hurray for little brothers!] but they died soon after, despite being gorgeous. So I decided to spend a bit more. Hopefully something pricey would last a bit longer.

I walked into Best Sell on Kimathi Street but they had headphones ranging from 850/= to 1950/=, and the 850/= one was just one. As in one earpiece. Yeah.

I wen into Ebrahims and they had some for 550/=, 650/= … and 2500/=. Naturally, I focussed on 550/=. Only problem is … they were pink. Really pink. And I am not a girl that does really pink. I own one pink sweatshirt, and that’s because it had a v-neck and cost 50 bob. So pink is clearly a problem…

I settled for old Pinkytoes because her muffs were soft fabric. The 650/= pair was black leather, and that causes sweat after a while. It’s not cool since I have them on like 12 hours a day. Also, Black Leather Dude had a hanging appendage, whily Pinkytoes microphone was inbuilt. Sweet!

I decided to forgive her for skin tone and focus on price and convenience. Besides, they’re headphones. I don’t have to look at them. I tested Pinkytoes out once I got home, and thank God she has some kick-ass bass. I just hope she works for skype calls and lasts longer than six months.

29 thoughts on “Mr Blue and Ms Pink

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