There’s this story about the milkman who daydreams about selling his milk, becoming a millionaire, marrying the king’s daughter, and beating her to a pulp. As he demonstrates the beating, he spills the milk that would have borne his fortune, and all is lost.
A similar story talks of a girl who goes to the river and dreams of meeting a prince, marrying him, having a beautiful daughter, and sending her to the river. This virtual child slips, hits her head, and/or falls into a well. The offline girl then sits down wailing and mourning her lost, unborn daughter.
Both stories sound silly and moralistic … but … I’m a lot like that. I don’t generally kick buckets of milk or wail over unborn children, but I’m currently crying over my dead cat.
The only problem is … I never actually had one.
I’ve always wanted a black cat. At first, it was sort of a rebellion thing. Everybody is afraid of black cats, so I figured I could stand out by having one. Then, it became a kind of joke. Classmates in high school thought I was some kind of witch. I was fascinated with the occult and had realistic stories about witchdoctors and things like that, stuff I’d seen first hand.
A spirit guide once told me she felt I had witchdom in my past life. She was equally sure I’d been a Hindu priestess, and that at some point, I’d been burned at the stake. It explains the love of saris, punjabi suits, and tiny Indian nose rings. With that background, it would be quite fitting to own a black cat, no?
Yesterday, my brother and I were discussing my choice of cat. We realized that I’d have to get the cat a scratchy thingie to keep the sofas safe. I don’t how that works outside of theory, but I suppose we’ll soon find out.
So this morning I was walking to my bro’s when I suddenly thought of my cat being dead [the cat I haven’t bought yet, just so you know]. I’d have to bury it, wouldn’t I? I’d have to put it in a box and embalm it and have a little going-away ceremony, probably one involving Christian Rock and a cross.
Except … here’s the thing. I don’t like dead things. I’ve been to funerals where I couldn’t view the body because I couldn’t link the corpse with the person that I loved. I’ve poisoned rats then left the house while someone grabbed them and threw them out. I’ve squished mosquitoes and left the red blobs on the wall for weeks. Roaches too. I just couldn’t bring myself to move them. Don’t even talk of the dead spiders under the bed.
So then, how would I bury beloved Ebby? [No, it’s not weird that my imaginary dead cat has a name.] How would I hold her … or him … and put her in a box and dowse her in perfume and dig a hole and put the body in?
And while we’re at it, where would I find the space to bury her in my dream penthouse? Will it have a lawn way up there on the 25th floor? Would I have to drive to some remote shamba to bury her instead? Would the shamba owner bust me and accuse me of witchcraft for burying a dead black cat in his yard? Could I drive around for hours with a dead thing in my trunk?
There’s this beautiful black cat that hangs around Chiromo Hostels. She … or he … is so regally stuck up that when she takes a nap, she lies so still you’d think she’s dead. But she … or he … is adorable, and I always wonder whether I could take him home. Could I get this cat, become attached, and then when she dies, throw her in a blue sealed bag in the trash? Really?
Hm, maybe I’m just not ready for a cat.
Really Dear? A dead imaginary black cat. I think it is time for an intervention!!!
U had a spirit guide? Where on earth?! How?! Umm what? So many questions…basically umm. I want one 🙂
@QQ I met her at a writers’ workshop, so I have no idea where she is now. She had us close our eyes and do this out-of-body meditation-type-thing, then she asked us what we saw and interpreted the scenes for us. I, apparently, was a witch and Hindu priestess. Cool!
@Eve Define intervention … *cheeky grin*
sometimes ur blogs just crack me up, ati would the shamba owner bust me
Sometimes when i pass by langata cemetery i think about a black cat being buried there at 3 am its always 3 am never midnight so instead of a shamba there’s always that
@WWF Now there’s an idea … I live quite near that cemetery. Ebby thanks you pre-posthumously 😉
@Pitz it’s genuine concern … after all, they found magnetic stones in my pencil case once and attempted an exorcism. true story. well, sort of …
freight forwarder dsv – freight forwarder quotation – freight forwarder boston – freight forwarder vs fedex – freight forwarder a-z
First of all I want to say terrific blog! I had a
quick question that I’d like to ask if you don’t mind. I
was interested to know how you center yourself and clear your head before writing.
I’ve had difficulty clearing my thoughts in getting my thoughts out.
I truly do take pleasure in writing however it just seems like
the first 10 to 15 minutes tend to be wasted simply just trying to figure out how to begin. Any recommendations or tips?
Appreciate it!
I know this web site offers quality depending posts and other data, is there any other web page which provides these kinds of things in quality?
When I originally commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time a comment is added
I get three e-mails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove people from that service?
Thanks!
Hi there! I know this is kinda off topic however , I’d figured I’d ask.
Would you be interested in exchanging links or maybe guest
writing a blog article or vice-versa? My site covers a lot of the
same topics as yours and I think we could greatly benefit from each other.
If you’re interested feel free to shoot me an e-mail.
I look forward to hearing from you! Superb blog by the way!
Hi i am kavin, its my first occasion to commenting anywhere, when i read this piece of writing
i thought i could also create comment due to this brilliant paragraph.
Cool blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it
from somewhere? A design like yours with a few simple adjustements would really make my blog shine.
Please let me know where you got your theme. Bless you
Hello There. I found your blog using msn. This is a very well written article.
I’ll make sure to bookmark it and come back to read more of
your useful info. Thanks for the post. I will definitely return.
I read this piece of writing completely concerning the difference of latest and previous technologies, it’s amazing article.
Unquestionably believe that which you stated. Your favorite justification seemed to be
on the web the easiest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I
certainly get irked while people consider worries that
they plainly do not know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and also defined out
the whole thing without having side-effects , people can take a signal.
Will probably be back to get more. Thanks
I am regular reader, how are you everybody? This article posted at this website is genuinely good.
It’s actually very complex in this busy life to listen news
on Television, so I only use web for that purpose, and get the most up-to-date information.
I quite like reading a post that will make
men and women think. Also, thank you for permitting me to comment!
you are in reality a good webmaster. The web site
loading velocity is amazing. It kind of feels that you’re doing any unique trick.
Moreover, The contents are masterwork. you have done a excellent
activity on this topic!