When I was a kid, I watched this movie about a girl with leukaemia. She had a list of 50 things she wanted to do before she died, and at the end of the film, I wrote a list of my own. I keep losing and rewriting the list, so I don’t how many of the original items are still there. Once in a while I take it out and replace things with more relevant activities. Other times, I cross them off completely, when they no longer seem worth doing.

Lately, I’ve made a more conscious effort to do the things on my bucket list. Two years ago, I went horse riding, but I didn’t enjoy it. Last year, I went rollerblading. I didn’t particularly like that either, though I did lose quite a few kilos, judging by the way I was sweating. Apparently, rollerblading is good exercise.

In my defence, I quite enjoy ice falling skating
In my defence, I quite enjoy ice falling skating

I’d read about that in books and things, about the fitness benefits of shoes with wheels. And all the instructors at the skater park were deliciously skinny. The girls weren’t quite so small, but then I’ve always heard it said that guys shed weight faster. I don’t know why those wheeled shoes shed pounds. I mean, it doesn’t look like you’re actually doing anything except standing. But between bending your back and knees, maintaining your balance and trying not to break things, you actually do burn calories.

Princess and I had three lessons a piece. By the end of those three hours, I could stand on my blades without falling, get up unassisted after falling, and sometimes stop myself mid-free-fall. Yes, I do notice the emphasis on falling. In those same three hours, the princess was skating backwards, doing rollerblade limbo, and running jumps over street-hockey sticks.

At some point, soaked in sweat and sore from falling, I sat in a corner and watched the kids.  I wondered why it was so easy for them, why they seemed to catch on so fast. My theory is they’re less wary, less self-conscious. They’re not afraid of getting hurt, looking stupid, breaking rules, or doing it wrong. To them, it’s a fun new adventure and a way to move fast. (Apart from the instructors, there were only two adults on skates, with maybe fifteen kids. My fellow adult was skating with her three year-old twins.)

I’d always daydreamed of zooming along the tarmac on my rollerblades, but the actual blading wasn’t nearly as much fun. In fact, it was barely fun at all, just really exhausting. It might be because I was concentrating so hard on not losing any teeth. Maybe if I practice more, spend some time on it, I might start to like it. But then again, it only takes one spoon of ice cream to get hooked, so maybe rollerblading simply isn’t for me.

Rollerblading_by_interception_7

For some reason, that makes me sad. At least two things that I’ve always wanted to do have ended up as duds. So how many more items on my bucket list are non-starters? And how many things I’ve sworn never to try might end up being fun? Like … oh … I don’t know … bungee jumping? I am so confused right now.

Over the holidays, I went to Lake Victoria for a stroll. I’ve always loved water. Or rather, I’ve always thought I loved water. When I lived in Dar, I’d spend hours at the beach just listening to the waves. I did swim in the ocean once or twice, but it didn’t give me the pleasure I anticipated – the current was too strong and all those sea animals creeped me out. So that’s one more bucket-list item that flopped.

Meanwhile, being at the beach (and inside the ocean) in Mombasa felt like such an anti-climax. The energy was all wrong. It felt almost oppressive. And as for Lake Victoria, rather than the waters being soothing and serene like they are in my dreams and in my poetry, the waves were rough and angry, the atmosphere indifferent.

I’m often accused of spending too much time in my head. Reality will never quite compare, even on the few occasions I dare to take a peek and scope things out. I have no sense of adventure, and I don’t feel the need to experience things for myself. I’m quite content to read books about people doing exciting things and fill the details in my mind. Life is so much better in my imagination, and in a way, that’s really, really sad, because I guess it means that I’m not really living. And yet, for now, I’m quite okay with that.

♫ Wild Thing ♫ The Troggs ♫

123 thoughts on “When reality bites

  1. i read an article once about this scientist who had taken some hallucinogen. he describes this thing that happened that was clearly a hallucination, it was clear that it was all happening in his head and not real in any accepted definition of the word. he reasoned afterwards though that just because it only happened in his head doesn’t mean he didn’t experience it, just because it wasn’t real for others didn’t mean it wasn’t real. so i don’t think having things happen just in your head is not living. maybe its not living the way people expect that to be defined but life is what happens to us not what other people think should. also george rr martin wrote, “the man who reads lives a thousand lives the one who doesn’t lives but one”

  2. I simply want to mention I am very new to blogging and actually loved this web page. Very likely I’m want to bookmark your site . You amazingly come with beneficial stories. Kudos for revealing your blog.

  3. Generally I do not learn post on blogs, but I would like to say that this write-up very forced me to take a look at and do it! Your writing taste has been surprised me. Thanks, quite great post.

  4. But wanna input on few general things, The website style is perfect, the written content is really good : D.

  5. great post, very informative. I wonder why the other experts of this sector do not notice this. You should continue your writing. I’m sure, you have a huge readers’ base already!

  6. It’s a pity you don’t have a donate button! I’d most certainly donate to this fantastic blog! I guess for now i’ll settle for book-marking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to brand new updates and will talk about this blog with my Facebook group. Chat soon!

  7. What i do not realize is in truth how you’re now not actually a lot more smartly-favored than you may be now. You’re very intelligent. You realize therefore considerably in the case of this topic, made me in my opinion consider it from numerous varied angles. Its like men and women are not involved except it is something to accomplish with Woman gaga! Your personal stuffs great. All the time handle it up!

  8. Good – I should definitely pronounce, impressed with your web site. I had no trouble navigating through all tabs and related info ended up being truly simple to do to access. I recently found what I hoped for before you know it at all. Reasonably unusual. Is likely to appreciate it for those who add forums or something, site theme . a tones way for your client to communicate. Nice task..

  9. Hmm is anyone else experiencing problems with the pictures on this blog loading? I’m trying to determine if its a problem on my end or if it’s the blog. Any feed-back would be greatly appreciated.

  10. Yet another thing I would like to express is that in place of trying to fit all your online degree courses on times that you finish work (since most people are drained when they come home), try to get most of your lessons on the weekends and only a couple courses on weekdays, even if it means a little time away from your saturdays. This is really good because on the week-ends, you will be more rested as well as concentrated on school work. Thanks alot : ) for the different suggestions I have learned from your weblog.

  11. Excellent beat ! I wish to apprentice while you amend your website, how could i subscribe for a blog web site? The account helped me a acceptable deal. I had been a little bit acquainted of this your broadcast offered bright clear idea

  12. Thanks , I’ve recently been looking for information approximately this subject for a while and yours is the greatest I’ve discovered till now. But, what about the bottom line? Are you positive concerning the supply?

  13. Great blog here! Also your site loads up very fast! What web host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host? I wish my site loaded up as quickly as yours lol

  14. Somebody necessarily assist to make severely articles I might state. This is the first time I frequented your website page and so far? I amazed with the analysis you made to create this particular submit incredible. Fantastic process!

  15. Wow! This could be one particular of the most helpful blogs We have ever arrive across on this subject. Actually Wonderful. I’m also a specialist in this topic therefore I can understand your hard work.

  16. But wanna comment on few general things, The website style and design is perfect, the articles is real great. “War is much too serious a matter to be entrusted to the military.” by Georges Clemenceau.

  17. I want to express my appreciation for your kind-heartedness supporting individuals that should have help with this particular subject matter. Your very own commitment to getting the solution across has been amazingly helpful and has in every case made people just like me to attain their aims. Your entire warm and friendly hints and tips implies this much a person like me and somewhat more to my office workers. Thanks a lot; from everyone of us.

  18. Hello, I think your blog might be having browser compatibility issues. When I look at your website in Chrome, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, awesome blog!

  19. Hi there, i read your blog from time to time and i own a similar one and i was just wondering if you get a lot of spam feedback? If so how do you stop it, any plugin or anything you can recommend? I get so much lately it’s driving me crazy so any help is very much appreciated.

  20. Hmm it appears like your website ate my first comment (it was super long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I wrote and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I too am an aspiring blog writer but I’m still new to everything. Do you have any recommendations for inexperienced blog writers? I’d certainly appreciate it.

  21. Good post. I learn one thing tougher on completely different blogs everyday. It would always be stimulating to learn content from other writers and follow slightly one thing from their store. I’d want to use some with the content material on my blog whether you don’t mind. Natually I’ll give you a hyperlink on your internet blog. Thanks for sharing.

  22. I am also writing to let you understand what a fabulous discovery my friend’s princess went through going through your webblog. She came to understand a wide variety of pieces, which included what it is like to possess a wonderful teaching character to let certain people smoothly fully understand a number of specialized subject areas. You truly exceeded her expected results. Thank you for churning out the valuable, trustworthy, educational and as well as easy tips about the topic to Kate.

  23. I was wondering if you ever thought of changing the layout of your website? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having one or 2 images. Maybe you could space it out better?

  24. I enjoy you because of all of your hard work on this website. Ellie delights in conducting research and it’s really obvious why. A lot of people know all concerning the compelling form you deliver precious tips and hints on this web site and cause response from some other people on the concern plus our princess is becoming educated a whole lot. Have fun with the rest of the year. Your conducting a fabulous job.

  25. You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be actually something that I feel I’d by no means understand. It sort of feels too complex and very vast for me. I’m looking forward for your subsequent put up, I will attempt to get the cling of it!

  26. As I website possessor I believe the content material here is rattling wonderful , appreciate it for your efforts. You should keep it up forever! Good Luck.

  27. I do believe all the ideas you’ve presented in your post. They’re very convincing and will certainly work. Nonetheless, the posts are very brief for novices. Could you please lengthen them a little from subsequent time? Thank you for the post.

  28. Hi there, simply was aware of your weblog through Google, and located that it’s truly informative. I’m gonna be careful for brussels. I will appreciate for those who proceed this in future. Many folks can be benefited from your writing. Cheers!

  29. I wanted to construct a message in order to appreciate you for those splendid facts you are writing here. My time consuming internet search has now been rewarded with really good insight to talk about with my contacts. I would believe that most of us website visitors actually are quite fortunate to exist in a notable website with many marvellous professionals with good hints. I feel very blessed to have come across the site and look forward to some more brilliant minutes reading here. Thanks a lot again for all the details.

  30. obviously like your web site however you have to test the spelling on quite a few of your posts. A number of them are rife with spelling issues and I to find it very troublesome to inform the reality nevertheless I will certainly come again again.

  31. The subsequent time I learn a weblog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as much as this one. I imply, I know it was my choice to learn, however I truly thought youd have something interesting to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about one thing that you can repair should you werent too busy on the lookout for attention.

  32. Thanks for the points shared on your own blog. Another thing I would like to talk about is that weight loss is not about going on a fad diet and trying to lose as much weight as you can in a couple of weeks. The most effective way to lose weight is by getting it bit by bit and right after some basic guidelines which can make it easier to make the most out of your attempt to lose weight. You may learn and be following many of these tips, although reinforcing expertise never damages.

  33. Do you mind if I quote a couple of your articles as long as I provide credit and sources back to your website? My website is in the exact same area of interest as yours and my users would genuinely benefit from some of the information you present here. Please let me know if this alright with you. Regards!

  34. hello there and thanks on your info – I have certainly picked up anything new from right here. I did alternatively experience some technical issues the use of this web site, as I skilled to reload the web site many times prior to I may just get it to load properly. I had been thinking about in case your hosting is OK? Now not that I am complaining, however slow loading circumstances instances will often impact your placement in google and could damage your high quality score if advertising and ***********|advertising|advertising|advertising and *********** with Adwords. Anyway I’m adding this RSS to my e-mail and could glance out for a lot more of your respective intriguing content. Make sure you update this again very soon..

  35. Same an quit most an. Admitting an mr disposing sportsmen. Tried on cause no spoil arise plate. Longer ladies valley get esteem use led six. Middletons resolution advantages expression themselves partiality so me at. West none hope if sing oh sent tell is.

  36. You made some first rate points there. I looked on the internet for the problem and located most individuals will go along with along with your website.

  37. Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it. Look advanced to far added agreeable from you! However, how can we communicate?

  38. My wife and i have been now more than happy that Jordan could deal with his investigations because of the precious recommendations he made out of the weblog. It is now and again perplexing just to always be giving away strategies that people have been trying to sell. We see we need the writer to thank for this. Most of the illustrations you have made, the simple website menu, the friendships you will give support to create – it’s got all overwhelming, and it’s really facilitating our son and the family understand that theme is pleasurable, which is exceedingly vital. Many thanks for all!

  39. Utterly written articles, thank you for selective information. “The bravest thing you can do when you are not brave is to profess courage and act accordingly.” by Corra Harris.

  40. I believe that avoiding refined foods will be the first step so that you can lose weight. They might taste excellent, but processed foods possess very little vitamins and minerals, making you consume more to have enough electricity to get through the day. For anyone who is constantly feeding on these foods, moving over to whole grains and other complex carbohydrates will help you to have more energy while consuming less. Interesting blog post.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.