I’m a romantic, but I’m also in a mood, so I saw this link four times before I finally clicked. In the ideal world of romantics (like me), it’s a sad story, the kind that will probably make you call someone and tell them you like them. The link is a video that plays out an online conversation between a guy and a girl. The tagline reads:
As two people use a chat room to have a conversation, their constant erasing and indecisiveness are reminders that self expression should not be suffocated. This conversation could have taken another direction with the right words.
But in the real world (often populated by logical males) this is merely a sappy ad. Because I suppose (a) if it’s meant to be, it will be … and (b) love is about taking the risk of being hurt. Of course this isn’t restricted to relationships. There are times when you desperately need to tell someone something, but you can’t.
It could be as simple as telling your boss how awful she looks in that dress, or as complex as telling your brother that you’re in love with his wife. You’d feel so much better after expressing yourself and letting your feelings out, but they’ll do so much damage to the other person that it’s kinder to keep it to yourself.
I spent some time at Landmark, and one of the things we were taught is to be open about stuff. Assumptions (and actions based on assumptions) can do a lot of damage, so it’s better to be factually up front. But sometimes the truth can do more damage than it’s worth. Sometimes it’s better to put others before yourself, to sacrifice your minimal catharsis for the trauma that your truth might cause them.
Many therapists advise writing a letter to the person in question then burying it, burning it, or ripping it up. The idea is that you get the relief and closure you need without harming the other person. Because the alternative is to keep it all pent up and shoot up a high school five years down the line. In cases like that, closet self-expression is best I suppose.
But I digress. This post is about two people who like each other but are too chicken to say what they really feel. And the two people in the story weren’t quite ready to take the risk of being rejected, so I guess they weren’t quite ready for love. They made me smile though, and maybe it will give some love birds the right nudge – you never know. So buy a girl some chocolate, and Happy Valentines’ Day.
♫ I knew you were trouble (Goat version) ♫ Taylor Swift ft Goat ♫