Posted on by crystal · 6 Comments

4 twighaps and a fu … facial: A rant in four parts

Firstly, yes, I love Hugh Grant. It’s the hair. And the little-boy-lost look. But mostly, it’s the hair.

Secondly, all ye who … well … this could take a while.

Thirdly, this is not going to make a lot of sense so … yeah.

So. It is no secret that I am now into the secret. Yes, I know, a lot of people think it’s silly crazy hoopla, but it works. Really. At least, it works for me. Sometimes it works so well that it’s scary.

I have, since reading the book, manifested a dress, green eyes, and 2012.

Yes, I realise that sounds *slightly* insane, so I shall move along swiftly to less loopy matters. Bear with me, I am going somewhere with this. Though in all honesty, I don’t know where that is yet.

Incidentally, they say ‘tell me what a man [or woman] laughs at and I will tell you who he/she is.’ There’s a rather nasty joke going round twitter. Something about Chinese phones. It’s really mean … but it’s also really funny. Almost as funny as – don’t kanye me. So, I wonder what that says about me. Hm.

Oh ok, four twighaps and a facial. A twighap is not something connected to twitter. It’s something connected to a twigget. Or rather to my desire to be a twigget.

A twigget, btw, is anybody who works with computers. I picked the term off K2. I have a fetish for twiggets generally, though I have particular issues with one particular twigget, whom I have **cough*cough*affectionately*cough** named … Twiggy.

So, back to my twighaps. They’re actually a lot more than three, but the key ones for today are three. So I shall perhaps name the sub-haps a,b,c … or 1,2,3 … or maybe αβγ?

For more information on 3CB, click here.

Posted on by crystal

Twighap number αlpha

So Sasha Black got sick. I went galivanting on Limewire and grabbed a few Worms while I was there. Squiggly little things. As a result, I had to format Sasha. But the CD that I have was missing two files: shell sth sth and RM. Cast. No, it’s not a conscious pun; it’s pretty good though.

Anyway, thanks to the missing files, installation couldn’t be completed. Since I have no friends here and Twiggy blew me off twice, I asked K1 to mail me a CD from Nairobi. He did, but the couriers lost it, denied losing it, talked mbaya, put off their phones, and eventually found my CD … 7 days later.

So I formatted. Initiated password and … forgot password. So I formatted again. Then I got on Limewire to find my Ally Mcbeal soundtrack and … heard the familiar neighing sound. So I formatted again. And this time I went hunting in torrent but … wait, that’s the next twighap. This one at ends at 3.00 a.m after formatting three times, then accidentally losing my itunes and…

Twighap number β: How I lost my itunes

It was a dark and stormy night and Little CB was walking drowsily in twitterland, typing in her sleep and trying to install lost programmes. Suddenly, she stumbled on a folder called Realplayer. It was really pretty with this great big S on it’s shirt, just like Superman. She tapped it. Nothing happened. So she tapped it twice.

This realplayer wasn’t a realplayer at all, it was a Storm Codec. A very mean one at that. The Storm Codec promptly messed with her Itunes 9 by downgrading Quicktime to a 6. CB didn’t realise this, and wondered why her Itunes gave an error message every time she turned it on.

Eventually, after 7 different install-uninstall sagas, she realised her mistake and decided to uninstall the Storm. But alas, it was not over, for the Storm took with it Quicktime, and now Itunes wouldn’t work at all. So Little CB went hunting for another Quicktime, or at least for another Itunes. But the net was too slow and the Apples on the page had nothing but pips and cores. Kinda like a webpage that’s pure html…text.

Several hours later, little CB is downloading Itunes 9 and Quicktime on the same slow connection. It has been two hours. Progress is at 62.3%…

For more information on 3CB, click here.

Posted on by crystal · 19 Comments

Twighap number γ: At the office

So a good friend of mine is trying to introduce me to the classics. Or more specifically, to the gymnastic power of the classics. My dabbling is restricted to Vivaldi, SSQ and Water Music. The Messiah is good too, I sang those in school.

Also, I have difficulty listening to extended sessions of wordless music. It’s like meditation – the mind drifts. So while I enjoyed singing ‘All we like sheep’ and I adore the canon and Vivaldi’s 3-minute piece in A minor, it’s excruciatingly … well … excruciating, to have to listen to an entire Concerto. I mean an entire concerto! That’s like two hours of nothing but strings!

That said, my week has been spent fighting with torrents and skiving the inevitable *cough*cough*candy* that comes on the homepages … **shudder** … Which attests to the affection I have for my good friend The Introducer aka K6.

For days the file wouldn’t torrent. At first I thought it was blocked ports, but I realised it was blocked brains, specifically, mine:

You are about to start a torrent … *gibberish gibberish* … will continue to upload … **more gibberish ** … to other users … **pretty html text** … stop manually. Are you sure you want to do this?

Yes.

Use default utorrent or Opera?

Opera.

**blink blink**

For we the unitiated, when you’re starting a torrent, it is generally a good idea to use default utorrent, coz, you know, it has the word ‘torrent’ in it. And yes, it is blonde to stare at the resultant Opera download transfer page and wonder why it isn’t doing anything.

Long story short, I got my Rachmaninov. Piano Concert No. 3 in D Minor, op 30 – III Finale Alla Breve [3rd Movement] has some funky bits, notably the first two minutes, and similar motifs between minutes 3 and 5, 9 and 11, and somewhere around minute 13. Plus, I have to say, its last two minutes is some good baby-making music. Fast, racy, authentic buildup, the perfect soundtrack to *almost there* Me like.

The rest belongs in a TCM movie. Or maybe that’s where I heard it. Now generally, I like TCM movies, but music that belongs in a TCM movie, to me, is like a musical. I love music, I love dancers, I love movies. But I don’t like them together. I have major issues with people dancing when they should be walking, singing when they should be talking, and using words in the one place you’d rather hear melody. Like, say, in the shower.

Hence, I don’t much like opera except on CD or radio. Or on my PC. That goes double for Bollywood. Except for the Indian Fist Jig. Rules, exceptions, whatwhat.

Also, I totally dig Michael Nyman. Especially the 69 different versions of the piano theme [The promise, The sacrifice, sth to do with talking hearts … same motif, different expression]

Oh wait, I forgot the office part.

Well, I discovered Microsoft Office 2007. Preeeetty!

And Twiggy forgot to reinstate my password when the domain crashed, leaving me with missing t’s, crossed IPs, and a PC that can only log in as admin.

On the upside, I have partial admin privileges … mwehehehehe. And he even gave me permission, so yay!

And why are my neighbours listening to Carmen sounding like Miley Cyrus?!

For more information on 3CB, click here.