I came out of therapy with one conviction … that I never wanted to be married. Of course it wasn’t a new concept. I’ve played with the idea for years, and explained it wherever I could. To me, marriage has no benefit to women, and I have no reason to pursue it. After all, I already have a child, and I don’t enjoy catering to men.

And then I met this boy. I gave him all my arguments and reasons, and he smiled and said he loved me. I said, “I don’t want to have a man in my house. I’d get bored. I want to come home, put on my sweatpants, get some ice cream, and watch ID. I don’t want to spend my nights rubbing feet and massaging egos.”

He said, “One day, you’ll meet a man who cooks for himself, loves real women, doesn’t want more babies, has a simple ego that doesn’t need massaging, and makes sure that you’re never bored around him. When that happens, I will ask you to dance, and I hope you will agree.” *insert girly giggle and a possible swoon*

I can’t tell at what point marriage stopped seeming like such a ridiculous idea. Maybe it’s because my pretty boy hasn’t bored me yet. Maybe it’s because he meets my needs in ways I didn’t think were possible. Maybe I’m just drunk and high.

You have to be a little drunk and high for this to seem like a good idea...
You have to be a little drunk and high for this to seem like a good idea…

I’ve often said that even though marriage makes no earthly sense, we are biologically wired to want it. And so I suppose it makes sense that while my baby-bio-clock has left me in peace, my other bio clock has been lurking in the shadows and waiting to pounce. Well, for what it’s worth, I quite like the candidate it’s chosen…

I’m still a feminist at heart, but it feels nice to have a man around, a good man that lets me put my feet up and be a girl for once. It’s interesting that because my desires are being fulfilled, it’s a lot easier to do the dreaded S-word. No, not that S-word. I’ve never had a problem with that S-word. I mean the other S-word : submission.

Looks like ... fun?
Looks like … fun?

For years I looked at my married (and girlfriended) friends and decided their men were controlling. Why would a smart, capable, able-bodied woman be doing xyz just because the man in her life wants her to? The horror! Me? I can’t. Nkt.

And yet I now find myself doing many of those things. Not because he wants me to, or asked me to, or expects me to. It’s because he makes me happy, and I know that doing xyz would make him happy. I’m not talking chandeliers. I’m talking simple things, like getting rid of a cute little desktop ornament that creeped him out.

Two headed troll

I’m amused that more complex concepts have suddenly become appealing to me. Like changing my last name, or merging finances, or even going to church. To be fair, he plays in the band, so I’m more a smitten groupie than a mother’s union rep…

I want to say women have been hurt by men for centuries, and forward-thinking women are right to shun marriage. I want to say it’s logical to be against it until you meet the right man (and that there’s a massive pool to choose from). I want to say marriage is what you make it. It can be dull and dreary or functional and fun.

But … I’m not married yet, so I haven’t got a clue what it’s like. I’ve seen my family and friends’ relationships … from the outside … which isn’t seeing anything at all. Maybe when I’ve been Mrs. O for a few months and the novelty has worn off, I’ll come back to this blog post and destroy it with my powers of jaded wife-hood.

2547568732_f892abf895

I think that for me, the most important part of feminism is choice. Women – like men – should have the option to do whatever they want in terms of life, love, careers, and lifestyle. Wear short dresses if you want. Be a CEO if you want. Get fifteen degrees if you want. Stay home and raise your kids if you want. Play ‘masculine sports’ if you want. And yes, marry. If you want. And I guess right now, I want 🙂

♫ Give me a reason ♫ Three days grace ♫

 

104 thoughts on “Discovering the m-word

  1. Generally I do not read article on blogs, however I would like to say that this write-up very compelled me to take a look at and do so! Your writing taste has been amazed me. Thanks, very great article.

  2. After research a couple of of the weblog posts on your website now, and I really like your means of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark website list and might be checking again soon. Pls try my website online as nicely and let me know what you think.

  3. Hi! This is my first visit to your blog! We are a team of volunteers and starting a new project in a community in the same niche. Your blog provided us valuable information to work on. You have done a marvellous job!

  4. I have not checked in here for some time because I thought it was getting boring, but the last few posts are great quality so I guess I’ll add you back to my daily bloglist. You deserve it my friend 🙂

  5. It’s my belief that mesothelioma will be the most lethal cancer. It’s got unusual attributes. The more I actually look at it the more I am confident it does not react like a true solid tissues cancer. In the event that mesothelioma can be a rogue viral infection, then there is the chance for developing a vaccine along with offering vaccination for asbestos open people who are really at high risk involving developing upcoming asbestos relevant malignancies. Thanks for expressing your ideas on this important ailment.

  6. Thank you, I have recently been looking for information about this subject for ages and yours is the greatest I’ve discovered till now. But, what about the conclusion? Are you sure about the source?

  7. Thanks for revealing your ideas right here. The other element is that when a problem develops with a pc motherboard, individuals should not take the risk of repairing that themselves because if it is not done right it can lead to irreparable damage to an entire laptop. Most commonly it is safe just to approach a dealer of the laptop for any repair of the motherboard. They’ve already technicians who may have an skills in dealing with laptop computer motherboard complications and can carry out the right prognosis and undertake repairs.

  8. Aw, this was a really nice post. In thought I want to put in writing like this additionally – taking time and actual effort to make an excellent article… but what can I say… I procrastinate alot and on no account appear to get one thing done.

  9. I simply could not depart your website before suggesting that I really enjoyed the usual info an individual supply in your guests? Is going to be back often in order to inspect new posts.

  10. Hi there! This is my first visit to your blog! We are a collection of volunteers and starting a new project in a community in the same niche. Your blog provided us valuable information to work on. You have done a marvellous job!

  11. Good – I should certainly pronounce, impressed with your website. I had no trouble navigating through all tabs as well as related info ended up being truly easy to do to access. I recently found what I hoped for before you know it in the least. Quite unusual. Is likely to appreciate it for those who add forums or something, site theme . a tones way for your customer to communicate. Excellent task.

  12. I have been browsing online greater than 3 hours these days, but I never discovered any attention-grabbing article like yours. It¡¦s beautiful price sufficient for me. In my view, if all web owners and bloggers made excellent content material as you probably did, the internet shall be a lot more useful than ever before.

  13. Appreciating the time and effort you put into your site and detailed information you offer. It’s good to come across a blog every once in a while that isn’t the same old rehashed information. Fantastic read! I’ve bookmarked your site and I’m including your RSS feeds to my Google account.

  14. Today, I went to the beach front with my children. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She put the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is completely off topic but I had to tell someone!

  15. Thanks for revealing your ideas. I’d personally also like to express that video games have been at any time evolving. Modern technology and improvements have made it easier to create sensible and interactive games. These entertainment video games were not actually sensible when the actual concept was first of all being tried. Just like other forms of electronics, video games too have had to progress as a result of many years. This is testimony to the fast growth and development of video games.

  16. I do like the manner in which you have framed this specific concern and it does indeed supply me personally some fodder for consideration. Nonetheless, from just what I have personally seen, I just simply hope when the actual feedback pile on that men and women remain on point and in no way get started on a soap box regarding some other news of the day. Anyway, thank you for this excellent point and although I can not necessarily agree with this in totality, I regard your perspective.

  17. I just wanted to write a brief message in order to say thanks to you for all of the awesome tactics you are sharing on this site. My time consuming internet research has at the end been compensated with pleasant content to exchange with my companions. I ‘d point out that many of us website visitors actually are truly lucky to dwell in a notable network with many awesome individuals with good suggestions. I feel extremely grateful to have encountered the webpages and look forward to so many more enjoyable times reading here. Thank you once again for a lot of things.

  18. I think that is one of the such a lot vital information for me. And i’m happy reading your article. However wanna commentary on few normal issues, The web site taste is ideal, the articles is in reality excellent : D. Just right process, cheers

  19. Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wished to say that I have truly enjoyed surfing around your blog posts. After all I’ll be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write again soon!

  20. Hi, i think that i saw you visited my web site thus i came to “return the favor”.I am trying to find things to enhance my web site!I suppose its ok to use some of your ideas!!

  21. you’re truly a just right webmaster. The website loading velocity is incredible. It sort of feels that you are doing any unique trick. In addition, The contents are masterpiece. you’ve done a great process in this subject!

  22. Hello, Neat post. There’s an issue along with your site in internet explorer, may check this… IE still is the market leader and a good section of other folks will pass over your fantastic writing due to this problem.

  23. I really appreciate this post. I’ve been looking everywhere for this! Thank goodness I found it on Bing. You’ve made my day! Thank you again

  24. Hello, Neat post. There’s an issue along with your website in web explorer, would check this… IE nonetheless is the marketplace chief and a huge section of other people will omit your magnificent writing due to this problem.

  25. I believe that avoiding ready-made foods may be the first step to help lose weight. They might taste great, but ready-made foods include very little nutritional value, making you feed on more only to have enough electricity to get over the day. For anyone who is constantly eating these foods, changing to whole grain products and other complex carbohydrates will let you have more electricity while consuming less. Good blog post.

  26. I got what you mean , thanks for posting .Woh I am pleased to find this website through google. “It is a very hard undertaking to seek to please everybody.” by Publilius Syrus.

  27. Hey! This is kind of off topic but I need some guidance from an established blog. Is it tough to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty fast. I’m thinking about creating my own but I’m not sure where to begin. Do you have any tips or suggestions? Thanks

  28. Thanks for your personal marvelous posting! I truly enjoyed reading it, you will be a great author.I will make certain to bookmark your blog and will eventually come back in the future. I want to encourage you continue your great writing, have a nice weekend!

  29. Thank you, I’ve recently been searching for information about this topic for a long time and yours is the greatest I have found out so far. But, what in regards to the bottom line? Are you certain in regards to the supply?

  30. Thank you a bunch for sharing this with all of us you actually recognise what you are talking about! Bookmarked. Please additionally consult with my website =). We may have a hyperlink change agreement between us!

  31. That is the appropriate blog for anyone who needs to seek out out about this topic. You notice so much its virtually exhausting to argue with you (not that I actually would need…HaHa). You undoubtedly put a new spin on a subject thats been written about for years. Great stuff, just great!

  32. I’ve been surfing on-line greater than three hours as of late, but I never found any attention-grabbing article like yours. It’s pretty value enough for me. In my opinion, if all site owners and bloggers made just right content as you did, the net might be a lot more helpful than ever before. “A winner never whines.” by Paul Brown.

  33. Excellent goods from you, man. I’ve understand your stuff previous to and you are just too great. I actually like what you’ve acquired here, really like what you are saying and the way in which you say it. You make it entertaining and you still care for to keep it smart. I can not wait to read far more from you. This is actually a great site.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *