I surprise myself. A lot. And it’s never a good thing, because I’m a planner, and planners don’t like surprises. For example, just yesterday, I realized that I need people. Well actually, I need person. Not any person in particular, but the person does need to be consistent, single, and male. I don’t mind if said person is gay, since there isn’t necessarily any sex in this equation.

Here’s the thing. Friday was the worst day I’ve had in a long time. I was so panicked in the morning that I couldn’t get out of bed. I tried to do visualizations but they kept drifting into nightmares. I had to make some scary phone calls and hunt down all the coins in my house. Sadly, the coins are mostly Tanzanian, and the exchange rate is lousy.

But after I was done panicking, I went on this date and for the next five hours, all my worries disappeared. I was sufficiently distracted, and it was a really good thing. We bonded, we ate, we had a good time. So when I found out he was leaving, I felt sad, nostalgic, and a little upset. I didn’t want to talk about it because no one would understand why I was making such a big deal after just one date, so I blogged and typed and did taebo. I thought it would make me feel better. It didn’t.

While I was moping around, my brother showed up online. Ordinarily, you don’t discuss such things with brothers, especially when their response is: ‘I’m not touching that. Not even with a ten foot pole.’ But surprisingly, I felt  better after talking to him. It felt good to let the junk out of my head and to have somebody talk back, even if I didn’t like what they had to say. Besides, I know it was done in love.

So, I’m ashamed to admit that as much as I pretend to be a married lesbian, I do need a sounding board. Preferably one without a wife, a girlfriend, or a three-legged kitty, and preferably, one that knows how to talk back.

Moving on. My second surprise: I’m in panic. I’ve never cared about my age. For my entire childhood, I seemed older than I was. Then somehere in my twenties, it was decided I could pass for a teenager. I’ve been asked for my ID more than once, and I often get frozen from my daughter’s PTA meetings. The other day, I went to get a birth certificate at Sheria House and the guy asked if it was mine. The date of birth was 7th December 2002. So yes, I’m surprised that I am spooked out by the big three-oh. I’m more surprised because it’s only been 60 days since my last birthday.

This is the year that I turn 30, and while I have ten months to go, I’m already in panic mode. This isn’t supposed to be how things go. At 30, I expected to have my own house, drive my own car, have a pretty bob, swing a pretty boy, and be nowhere near a ring.

Instead, I have one pseudo-ex-husband, four pseudo-ex-boyfriends, one former nose ring, short purple dreads, and a gorgeous little girl who just turned eight. Suddenly, I’m asking myself questions like ‘Why am I here?’ I lost religion several years ago, and while I miss the security of belief in a higher power, there’s no secondary belief in Mary’s virginity. When it’s gone, it’s gone. My new age ideas answer some of my questions but not all, and The Secret tells me to stay happy without giving me a why.

I could focus on just raising my daughter, but if I make my life all about her, I’ll have some serious withdrawal symptoms when she turns 16, and it’s not even that far away. I could make my life about work, but that’s not very fulfilling. I need a reason to get out of bed in the morning, and it has to be more complelling than ‘I can’t reach the alarm.’

I don’t know why it’s hitting me now. I’ve been around for over 20 years, and my wake up ritual never needed prompting. I don’t know why I suddenly need to figure what my motivation is. I can only conclude it’s because I’m almost 30 and haven’t done half what I expected. I know I have ten months to go, but it’ll take a little longer to buy a penthouse and an 8-million-shilling red car. God I feel old!

210 thoughts on “The big three-oh

  1. Lol!! When I was 26 I had my quarter-life crises. It was this realization that something had gone very wrong with my life plans & I was very stressed out. By the time I got to 30, I had figured that I wouldn’t own a home or have 2.2 kids so that took the stress out. I did expect that I would have been married but when that hadn’t come to pass, I figured that there were worse things. Like cancer.

    You just take it a day at a time and if you find reason to have a hearty laugh, then that was a day well spent. Be your own purpose. You’re worth it no?

  2. *grins* i may not always agree with your school of thot gal, but i love howyou express stuff…the fear of 30 is quite common…but most people seem to survive ok 🙂

  3. Pingback: enhancement
  4. whoah this weblog is excellent i like studying your articles.

    Stay upp the good work! You understand, many people are searching round foor this information, you can help them greatly.

  5. Definitely consider that that you said.
    Your favorite reason appeared to be on the web the easiest
    factor to consider of. I say to you, I definitely get irked even as people think about issues that they plainly do
    not recognise about. You managed to hit the nail upon the highest
    and outlined out the entire thing with no need side-effects , other folks could take
    a signal. Will likely be again to get more. Thank
    you

  6. I am planning to figure out as much regarding the online surfing community as I can. Can anyone recommend sites that you find extensive, facebook handles, or their favorite websites?

    Those that are hottest? Thanks!.

  7. I’m pretty pleased to uncover this page. I want to to thank you
    for your time for this particularly fantastic read!!
    I definitely enjoyed every part of it and i also have you
    book marked to look at new things in your blog.

  8. I’m not sure why but this blog is loading incredibly slow for me.
    Is anyone else having this issue or is it a issue on my end?

    I’ll cneck back later and see if the problem still exists.

  9. Trouver la bonne voie, savoir s’orienter parmi toutes les suggestion de composition n’est foulée continuellement évident.
    L’Astrologie peut être bizarre aide précieuse qui permet de
    connaître à nous aptitudes et à nous besoins en disposition professionnelle.

    Rare thème astronomique réalisé par seul professionnel notoire permet de savoir
    quels sont les capital dans lesquels vous-même avez toutes ces chances de réussir, les
    opportunités et les obstacles de votre vie
    professionnelle. La possibilité de dialoguer en compagnie de votre voyant en privé supposé que toi le
    souhaitez ! Néanmoins de in extenso évidence, celui non pourrait
    répondre à total le monde en même saison, par
    conséquent vous devez attendre votre tourelle.L’attente se fait formellement en écoutant
    la voyance, cependant ceci coût de la avis reste inchangé.

  10. Och de här tjejerna är inte blyga, Ԁe blottar gärna
    sina fina bröst framför kamera eller webcamen, allt för att förföra
    och locka dig.Upptäck njutningen av att se din partner іn action, alltså knulla med någon annan, ɗu kommer
    finna digg själv få ԁen ultimata kicke av erotisk njutning när ɗu ѕeг dinn partner bli knullad av
    еn främling. Allt från ߋne night stands, anal, läder och lack,
    gruppsex till bondae och annnan fetish.

  11. Pingback: website
  12. New Balance Vintage New Balance Mt 10 Yvvjc Columbus,
    Ohio, 18 Ottobre, 2012 / PRNewswire / Inc clienti possono scegliere un ambiente
    di shopping conveniente assistito prezzi selfvalue assortimento giornaliero di scarpe firmate e
    stivali in un’esperienza straordinaria. I corridoi sono una sorprendente quantità di scelte
    che gli uomini e gli amanti di scarpe è riempito
    con le ultime tendenze in scarpe da donna. New Balance 420 Asos Chaussure New Balance
    rDWKo (Siamo l’arsenale della democrazia!) Crediamo che i
    nostri proteste di buone intenzioni. Rappresentante Zoe Lofgren (D California) ha recentemente affermato, credo che coloro che sostengono
    che i missili sparare e sganciare le bombe in un altro paese
    non è un atto di guerra ha avuto qualche ulteriore formazione giustificata..
    New Balance Classic New Balance Femmes RdKKI
    Come si può aiutare l’ambiente e gas a effetto serra.
    Andate a vedere tutte queste borse riutilizzabili per riempire il paese quando è usurato.
    New Balance Marron New Balance Rose wIPAE E mi ha fatto sentire meglio, forse
    più di ogni altra cosa che è accaduto tutto questo anno, per realizzare le ragazze
    hanno ottenuto un posto dove a loro piace giocare a questo gioco.
    Pitching in serata è stata Danielle Thomsen, un anziano che era nel bel mezzo di
    tutto durante una stagione in cui i Cubs sono andati 33 11, ha
    vinto il titolo Cuore di Iowa Conference e ha ricevuto una top 10 nazionale..
    New Balance London New Balance Running Femme JbsKN Ma se
    hai meno di 20, si potrebbe avere una giornata campale con il
    Prez Jimi si presenta come uno smoking con una mano
    di velluto ricamato StretchTShirt dell’esercito pantaloni verdi
    e di corrispondenza. Una breve marrone difficoltà a strisce
    agnello tuta per loro e un raso avorio peacoat intermezzi ottimistiche fornite per lui, ma non erano
    abbastanza per tirare la collezione box..

    New Balance Pas Cher Femme New Balance 360 OXrFq La gente ha sempre fatto affidamento sulle cose
    che possono migliorare la loro. Dal tempo antico in sé,
    che le persone, soprattutto nei materiali impiegati telo il corpo.
    Baskets New Balance Pas Cher New Balance H710 OLJSJ Vuoi
    fare la doccia il vostro cane con un po ‘di amore? Il modo migliore per presentare
    un gesto d’amore di amicizia vostro cane canino è il codice personalizzato che può essere orgogliosamente sfoggiato notoriamente sulle passeggiate e pause vasino!
    Infatti, per tutto il mondo (WFA) Animal Care e l’adozione in connessione
    con il marchio di gioielli si sono riuniti per creare una Mutt
    si mescolano, un evento dove sarà istituito bancarelle adozione di cuccioli senza casa e gattini.

    Marchio di gioielli introdurrà anche un po
    ‘eccentrico e personale fascino animale domestico con il loro nome dell’animale domestico stampato su
    di essa. New balance 480 New Balance 574 KHVpV Non sto parlando di sesso passeggiata
    mano nella mano al chiaro di luna, parlare Corriere sesso,
    sesso con stivali. Ho fatto un calo di ufficio immobiliare in Connecticut poco prima di
    mezzogiorno.

  13. This is the perfect website for anybody who would like to find out about this topic.
    You realize so much its almost hard to argue with you (not that I actually will need
    to…HaHa). You definitely put a new spin on a topic which has been discussed for decades.
    Great stuff, just great!

  14. I do not even understand how I ended up right here, but I
    thought this post was good. I don’t recognise who you might
    be but definitely you’re going to a famous blogger if
    you are not already. Cheers!

  15. Pingback: .VAnaBfldUp4
  16. Great beat ! I wish to apprentice while you amend your site, how could
    i subscribe for a blog site? The account aided me a acceptable deal.
    I had been tiny bit acquainted of this your broadcast offered
    bright clear concept

  17. I used to be suggested this blog via my cousin. I am no longer
    certain whether or not this publish is written by means of him as
    no one else recognize such detailed about my difficulty.
    You are wonderful! Thanks!

  18. This design is spectacular! You definitely know how to keep a reader entertained.

    Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start
    my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Excellent job.
    I really loved what you had to say, and more than that, how you
    presented it. Too cool!

  19. My spouse and I stumbled over here coming from a different
    web address and thought I may as well check things out.
    I like what I see so now i’m following you.

    Look forward to finding out about your web page again.

  20. I used to be suggested this blog via my cousin. I am not
    positive whether or not this post is written by means of him
    as nobody else realize such special approximately my trouble.
    You are amazing! Thanks!

  21. Randomly occurring auto problems are probably not as random as you
    think. These savings can then be passed on to customers, meaning lower
    prices and a job well done. The modern cell phone can be
    used to remind the vehicle owner when a car tune up is due.

  22. We stumbled over here by a different page and thought I should check things
    out. I like what I see so now i’m following you.
    Look forward to exploring your web page for a second time.

  23. s password, then try to sign in to your Windows system and reset the forgotten windows password.
    Benefits of the framework include secure communication, business management
    tools, mobile app creation and multi-platform compatibility.
    An XDP can also package a PDF file, along with XML form and template data.

  24. Thanks a bunch for sharing this with all of us you actually understand what
    you are talking approximately! Bookmarked. Please additionally visit my web site =).
    We can have a link alternate contract among us

  25. Pingback: axzz3EB4RS5ej
  26. obviously like your web site however you have to check the
    spelling on several of your posts. Many of them are rife with spelling issues and I in finding it very bothersome to inform the truth on the other hand I will surely come back again.

  27. Nice blog here! Additionally your site rather a lot up fast!
    What host are you the use of? Can I am getting your affiliate hyperlink on your
    host? I desire my site loaded up as fast as yours lol

  28. Pingback: Ht Rush Reviews
  29. Hi there! I know this is kinda off topic however , I’d figured
    I’d ask. Would you be interested in trading links or maybe guest authoring a blog article or vice-versa?
    My website addresses a lot of the same subjects as
    yours and I feel we could greatly benefit from each other.
    If you might be interested feel free to send me an e-mail.
    I look forward to hearing from you! Superb blog by the way!

  30. I changed from WPA to WEP to WPA2 PSK with no luck But if I go to a static IP,
    then I have no problem to connect. Cell phones have for many years
    had touch screen capability (making use of fingers to
    activate specific features). With the help of the various that the
    mobile network service providers have devised, the mass appeal of Samsung Galaxy W has
    increased manifold.

  31. Anda cuma mesti menjejaki instruksi untuk logon di games ini.
    Kadang saya merasa miris juga melihat perempuan yang mati-matian membanting tulang demi mencukupi kebutuhan keluarga dan tak pernah sepeserpun membelanjakan sesuatu
    untuk dirinya sendiri. disamping ditunjangdengan perubahan perlengkapan di
    sektor broadcasting serta adanya masa baru dalam.

  32. What’s Taking place i am new to this, I stumbled upon this I have found It positively useful and it has aided me out loads.
    I hope to contribute & aid different users like its aided me.
    Good job.

  33. Thanks for some other informative blog. Where else may just
    I am getting that type of info written in such an ideal approach?
    I’ve a mission that I’m just now running
    on, and I have been at the look out for such information.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *