If you know anything about me … or if you’ve read my work … then you know that I have issues, the least of which is being a gay guy with lady parts. I should probably explain that. I’m not a transvestite or anything like that, and all my parts are xx, pun well intended. I’m just a fairly boyish girl with a Double D chest. I assume it’s a result of having way too much testosterone in my blood. It makes me walk like a guy, keep short hair, have a strong jaw, and eat about as much teenage boys. That applies to food as well. I’m not in any way bisexual, but I do sometimes whistle at hot girls, and I feel immensely drawn to pretty boys. Like this one, for example.
But that’s just the preamble. The real story is how I was a dude for a day. Or two. Actually, it’s Thursday, so make it more like four. It all started by being a girl, which isn’t something that I do often. See, usually, when I see a boy that I like, I react in one of two ways. Either I ask him out directly, or I pretend to ignore him completely. The latter is generally a mask for my … um … feelings … because while I’m ignoring him outside, I’m either drawing maps, or ripping on the inside, pun totally intended.
I had this one boy try to make a move on me. He was the smooth type, all prolonged handshakes and stroking my arms and playing with my neck-tag. He gave up after a few hours, because he could get no effect from having his soft hands so close to my … chest. If only he knew. Sigh.
I don’t know why he didn’t get it – I was high on innuendo. Maybe it’s because I said it with straight face. It turns out flirting works best when you’re shy and demure, twiddling with your hair and batting with the lashes, neither of which I do very well. I’m more of the look-him-in-the-eye-and-play-with-words type of girl.
Anyway, an interesting thing happened recently. This really pretty boy asked me out. It was sort of a shock to my system, because usually, it’s me that does the asking. And then they run for the hills. I don’t care what men say about confidence driving them crazy, me, I think telling a man you want him makes him take off and leave skid marks. I don’t know what is is exactly. Maybe it’s the notion that they’re not in control. Or maybe it’s the thought that you’ve done it before. Or maybe I’m just asking out all the wrong guys! But I digress. Point is, a pretty boy asked me out, and it changed me. It instantly sorted my esteem, and God knows how that needed sorting. It left me feeling I could have any boy I want, no matter how pretty, and that’s an awesome thing!
So here’s the problem. There’s an awfully high ratio of pretty boys at work. Really, there is. You should come by my office sometime and I’ll prove it. I’m not the flirty type offline, so mostly I just hide inside my headphones, admire from afar, and wait for brainstorms and group projects to be sure they know my name.
But ever since it happened, I’ve been … different. I’ve been looking at these pretty boys and wondering. Wondering how many live alone. Wondering which one might have a girlfriend. Wondering what to do inside that boardroom with those couches. And, much as I hate to admit it, I’ve been looking at those pretty boys, and looking, and sometimes doing so much more than looking …. but all inside my head.
And here’s the thing – the boys don’t even know it!
I looked at one specific boy and tried to gauge what he was thinking. I wondered just what he would do if I walked right up to his desk and asked for condoms and an hour. I almost did once or twice, but I always chickened out. I stared at him, willing him to know what I was thinking, what I was feeling, what I was doing inside my mind. I felt my senses heighten every time he came close. I felt my fingers start to sweat and my knees start to buckle each time I was near his desk.
I looked for moments when he was alone and hovered, willing myself to sit down and speak – or shut up and drive. And each time, I skirted round him, grabbed a random pencil, or a stapler, or a sticky-note, anything to justify my foray to his desk, while the entire time, I was peeling off his shirt inside my mind.
I wondered what it would be like to just ask him, and I smiled a little. When boys say things like that, they get slapped and insulted. But here I was thinking I should really just be honest. I mean, I don’t want to date him. It’s been ages since I’ve thought about relationships. I know I’m a born romantic, but they’re really not my thing. So no, I don’t want flowers and candy and awkward empty small-talk. I just want condoms and and hour, because he’s the most beautiful thing that I’ve seen in a while, and all I want to do is eat him up. I hear I’m really good at that. Oh, and I also want the cuddling, conversation, and fulfilling after-chatter. I hear I’m really good at that too.
But each time I got close enough to say so, I ducked and walked away, sounds of clucking chickens in my head. How would he react? Would he be amused, offended, or shocked? Would he play along to see where it would go? And would I be as brazen in the sheets as I’d been with the proposal? Would he be disappointed if I wasn’t … if I’m not? Would he be gentle with me if I jumped him from the get-go? If I asked him for an hour, would he treat me like a girl?
I debated all these things inside my head, even as my skin singed every time he walked by, which, by the way, was a lot. I started to poke holes in the thing. Office sex is bad. What if it gets awkward? What if he says no? What if he says yes but he’s really, really bad? What if I decide I want more than just one? What if he spreads the word and I become the office sl…
Is it that hard for guys? Do they watch women, undress them in their heads, and walk around in permanent frustration? Do they skirt near them, longing to explode, but sitting there impotent and silent for fear of getting sued? Are there men out there who stare at me with such intense desire yet I barely even notice?
In the end, I decided this really wasn’t me. I mean, my nuts are pretty brazen, generally, especially since they’re mostly – you know – virtual. I figured if I could watch this boy for months and undress him in my head, then there must be something there, but if I’d spent three days talking myself out of it, then I didn’t want to do it. At least … not nearly as much as I imagine. And once I had that thought, the fogginess dispelled, and I could walk right past him and feel nothing … for a while. Still tomorrow is Friday, so who knows what will happen? I’m grateful for one thing though. I’m grateful for my womb and my lady parts, because unlike the pointed anatomy of guys, a boy can’t really tell what you’re thinking just by looking.
♫ Still alive ♫ Lisa Miskovsky ♫
of course like your web-site but you need to check the spelling on quite a few of your posts. A number of them are rife with spelling issues and I find it very bothersome to tell the truth nevertheless I will surely come back again.
Hello there. I found your site by the use of Google at the same time as looking for a related matter, your web site got here up. It appears good. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to come back then.
Awesome post. I am a regular visitor of your website and appreciate you taking the time to maintain the excellent site. I will be a frequent visitor for a really long time.
Awesome post. I am a normal visitor of your web site and appreciate you taking the time to maintain the nice site. I’ll be a frequent visitor for a really long time.
Hi there. I found your site via Google at the same time as searching for a comparable topic, your site came up. It seems to be great. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to visit then.
Very great post. I simply stumbled upon your weblog and wished to say that I’ve truly enjoyed browsing your weblog posts. After all I will be subscribing on your feed and I hope you write once more soon!
Hey there. I found your website by the use of Google whilst looking for a comparable matter, your site came up. It appears great. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to visit then.
Awesome write-up. I’m a regular visitor of your blog and appreciate you taking the time to maintain the excellent site. I will be a frequent visitor for a long time.
Hiya, I am really glad I have found this information. Nowadays bloggers publish just about gossip and web stuff and this is actually annoying. A good website with exciting content, this is what I need. Thanks for making this website, and I will be visiting again. Do you do newsletters by email?
Awesome post. I am a regular visitor of your web site and appreciate you taking the time to maintain the excellent site. I’ll be a frequent visitor for a long time.
Hi there. I discovered your blog by means of Google while looking for a comparable topic, your site got here up. It seems great. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to come back then.
Hiya, I am really glad I’ve found this information. Today bloggers publish just about gossip and net stuff and this is actually irritating. A good web site with exciting content, that is what I need. Thanks for making this site, and I will be visiting again. Do you do newsletters by email?
Hi there. I found your site by means of Google even as looking for a related subject, your website came up. It appears great. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to come back then.
Awesome write-up. I’m a regular visitor of your site and appreciate you taking the time to maintain the excellent site. I’ll be a frequent visitor for a long time.
Awesome write-up. I am a normal visitor of your blog and appreciate you taking the time to maintain the excellent site. I will be a frequent visitor for a long time.
One more thing. I really believe that there are lots of travel insurance web pages of trustworthy companies that permit you to enter your trip details to get you the estimates. You can also purchase the particular international travel insurance policy on-line by using your current credit card. Everything you should do should be to enter all your travel information and you can start to see the plans side-by-side. You only need to find the package that suits your finances and needs after which it use your bank credit card to buy them. Travel insurance on the internet is a good way to take a look for a respected company regarding international travel cover. Thanks for revealing your ideas.
Hiya, I am really glad I’ve found this info. Nowadays bloggers publish just about gossip and web stuff and this is actually annoying. A good blog with interesting content, that’s what I need. Thank you for making this website, and I will be visiting again. Do you do newsletters by email?
Hiya, I’m really glad I have found this info. Today bloggers publish just about gossip and web stuff and this is actually frustrating. A good site with interesting content, that’s what I need. Thanks for making this website, and I’ll be visiting again. Do you do newsletters by email?
Awesome write-up. I’m a normal visitor of your blog and appreciate you taking the time to maintain the nice site. I will be a regular visitor for a really long time.
Hello there. I found your blog by the use of Google whilst searching for a related subject, your site came up. It seems great. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to visit then.
Awesome post. I’m a regular visitor of your website and appreciate you taking the time to maintain the excellent site. I’ll be a regular visitor for a long time.
Hey there. I found your web site via Google even as searching for a related topic, your website got here up. It seems to be great. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to visit then.
Hiya, I’m really glad I have found this information. Today bloggers publish just about gossip and web stuff and this is actually frustrating. A good blog with interesting content, this is what I need. Thanks for making this web-site, and I will be visiting again. Do you do newsletters by email?
hi!,I like your writing very much! share we communicate more about your article on AOL? I need an expert on this area to solve my problem. May be that’s you! Looking forward to see you.
Awesome post. I am a regular visitor of your web site and appreciate you taking the time to maintain the nice site. I will be a regular visitor for a long time.
Hiya, I am really glad I’ve found this information. Nowadays bloggers publish just about gossip and web stuff and this is really annoying. A good website with interesting content, that is what I need. Thank you for making this web site, and I’ll be visiting again. Do you do newsletters by email?
Awesome write-up. I am a normal visitor of your website and appreciate you taking the time to maintain the nice site. I’ll be a frequent visitor for a long time.
Hi there. I discovered your web site by means of Google while looking for a related matter, your website came up. It appears to be good. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to visit then.
Awesome write-up. I’m a normal visitor of your blog and appreciate you taking the time to maintain the excellent site. I’ll be a frequent visitor for a long time.
Hiya, I’m really glad I have found this information. Nowadays bloggers publish only about gossip and net stuff and this is actually frustrating. A good web site with exciting content, that is what I need. Thanks for making this web site, and I’ll be visiting again. Do you do newsletters by email?
Awesome post. I’m a normal visitor of your web site and appreciate you taking the time to maintain the excellent site. I’ll be a regular visitor for a really long time.
certainly like your web site but you need to test the spelling on several of your posts. Many of them are rife with spelling problems and I in finding it very bothersome to tell the reality nevertheless I will certainly come back again.
Awesome post. I am a normal visitor of your website and appreciate you taking the time to maintain the nice site. I’ll be a frequent visitor for a long time.
Hello there. I found your site by way of Google at the same time as searching for a comparable topic, your website came up. It seems to be great. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to come back then.
Hello there. I found your site by way of Google whilst looking for a related matter, your site got here up. It seems great. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to come back then.
Hiya, I am really glad I have found this information. Nowadays bloggers publish just about gossip and web stuff and this is actually annoying. A good blog with exciting content, this is what I need. Thanks for making this web-site, and I’ll be visiting again. Do you do newsletters by email?
Awesome write-up. I am a regular visitor of your blog and appreciate you taking the time to maintain the nice site. I will be a regular visitor for a really long time.
Awesome write-up. I’m a normal visitor of your web site and appreciate you taking the time to maintain the nice site. I’ll be a regular visitor for a long time.
You are my aspiration, I have few blogs and infrequently run out from brand :). “Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.” by E. B. White.
Awesome write-up. I’m a normal visitor of your site and appreciate you taking the time to maintain the nice site. I’ll be a regular visitor for a really long time.
Hiya, I am really glad I’ve found this information. Nowadays bloggers publish just about gossip and net stuff and this is actually frustrating. A good site with exciting content, this is what I need. Thank you for making this website, and I will be visiting again. Do you do newsletters by email?
Awesome write-up. I’m a regular visitor of your blog and appreciate you taking the time to maintain the excellent site. I’ll be a frequent visitor for a really long time.
Your house is valueble for me. Thanks!…
Hiya, I am really glad I’ve found this information. Today bloggers publish just about gossip and net stuff and this is actually annoying. A good website with interesting content, this is what I need. Thank you for making this site, and I will be visiting again. Do you do newsletters by email?
http://www.lylelylecrocodile.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=bestpornsites.guide
Hello there. I discovered your site via Google at the same time as searching for a similar topic, your site got here up. It appears good. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to come back then.
Hello there. I found your web site by the use of Google at the same time as searching for a comparable topic, your website came up. It appears good. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to come back then.
Hello my friend! I want to say that this article is awesome, great written and come with approximately all important infos. I would like to peer extra posts like this.
Awesome write-up. I’m a normal visitor of your website and appreciate you taking the time to maintain the excellent site. I will be a frequent visitor for a really long time.
Nice post. I was checking constantly this blog and I am impressed! Very useful information particularly the last part 🙂 I care for such information a lot. I was seeking this certain information for a very long time. Thank you and good luck.